well... I got wat i wanted... a new phone.. technicily it wasnt wat I want -.-, now now, dont be choosy, this Sony Ericsson Aino, also not bad...

this is for those of u who dont know how it looks like =D

anyway... just got back from kl, well 1st day whole day sit on airplane and bus just to go to perak (KAMPUNG!) ... then sleep ZZZZ 2nd day was like.... where the fuck are we going? ... arrgghh forget it, I dont wan talk about the boring stuffs and WAT happen in kl!

I can say, that the blame was never on you, I was the stubborn 1 who always think I might have a chance with u.. when that night u and him explained.. u were crying while talking on the phone... idk anymore.. but after I hang up, I was thinking all the things that we done.... all the past came back to my mind.. but I wasnt sad, I somehow knew... deep inside, u would say that... urrghh, 4 hours sleep yesterday -.-, thanks to my parents snore and NOT letting me have my own room zzz, fuck.

Oh well... after 2day, its a fresh start... new beginning and work starts.... I know my SPM will be bad, how I know? I made it bad. AMEN.

Signing out,
Gary

holy !@#$

Don Mclean/ Josh Groban - Starry starry night (both of them sing this)
Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer's day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

Starry, starry night.
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violet haze,
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue.
Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain,
Weathered faces lined in pain,
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

For they could not love you,
But still your love was true.
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life, as lovers often do.
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.

Starry, starry night.
Portraits hung in empty halls,
Frameless head on nameless walls,
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the strangers that you've met,
The ragged men in the ragged clothes,
The silver thorn of bloody rose,
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they're not listening still.
Perhaps they never will...

love this song ~~ XD, this afternoon went to secret recipe ... celebrate with the prince and the princess (arthur and audrey, and they're not together, thank you.) and went to kbox (fuck.... rm164.8... T.T) yeah, sing lots of song.... enjoyed ourself and fun.... there's 1, no 2 songs that almost made me cry.... makes me think of the past again... but since its their birthday, let joy take over my tears of sorrowness....

and I dont know... seriously, I dont know... god, makes me think of how times past.... I really fucking regret of some stuffs (like not studyin account properly... etc, etc ) watever....

Signing off,
Gary

easier said than done...

Mario Winans - I dont wanna know

Mario Winans)
I just can't believe this, man.
Just another night of these thoughts.
Can't get this outta my head, yeah.

Somebody said they saw you.
The person you were kissing wasn't me.
And I will never ask you.
I just kept it to myself.

(Chorus)
I don't wanna know
If you're playing me - Keep it on the low.
'cause my heart can't take it anymore.
and if you're creepin please don't let it show.
Oh baby, I don't want to know.
(0hhhh, baby.)


I think about it when I hold you.
When lookin' in your eyes - I can't believe.
I don't need to know the truth.
Baby, keep it to yourself.

(Chorus)
I don't wanna know.
If you're playing me - Keep it on the low.
'Cause my heart can't take it anymore.
and if you're creepin', please, don't let it show.
Oh baby, I don't want to know.


Did he touch you better than me? (Touch you better than me?)
Did he watch you fall asleep? (Watch you fall asleep, baby?)
Did he show you all those things? (0hhhh)
and the things you do to me (do to me, baby)
If you're better off that way,(Better off that way)
then it's more than I can say. (More than I can say)
If you want to do your thing,(Oh!)
Girl, then stay away from me.(Stay away from me, baby)


(P-Diddy)
I know when your where-abouts or how you movin'.
I know when you're in the house or when you crusin'.(uh-huh)
It's been proven - My love you abusin'.
I can't understand how a man got you choosin'.
Undecided, I came and provided my,
Undivided, you came and denied it.(Why)
Don't even try it I know when you lyin'. (Don't even)
Don't even do that I know why you cryin'.
I'm not applyin no pressure,
I just want to let you know,
That I don't want to let you go.(I don't want to let you go)
And I don't want to let you leave.
Can't say I didn't let you breath.
Gave you extra cheese. (come on)
put you in a SUV.
You wanted ice - so I made you freeze.
Made you hot like the West Indies.(That's right)
Now it's time you invest in me.
'Cause if not - then it's best you leave. (Holla, yeah)


(Mario Winans)
I don't wanna know.
If you're playing me - Keep it on the low.
'Cause my heart can't take it anymore.
And if you're creepin', please, don't let it show.
Oh baby, I don't want to know.
If you're playing me - Keep it on the low.
'Cause my heart can't take it anymore.
And if you're creepin', please, don't let it show.
(0hhhh baby)
I don't wanna know.


urgghh.... the pain on my chest start to come up again.... I dont know how long could I last... took some pills... but then, it just ease the pain... it wont remove the ever eternal pain inside of me...

one of my friend challenge me to get thin and have abs in 6 months (thin can... abs? like audrey said, 4 boleh la XD) hehehe.... well I havent know how to plan audrey's birthday.... *need backup*!!!

yeap... its either wednesday or thursday I go KL ... celebrate christmas with my grandparents... (father side) not too close to them.... and then ... going to do LOTS and LOTS of stuff @.@, buy my new handphone, clothes, christmas presents or souveniers for the gangs, watch avatar in 3d ~.~, and etc....

but... all this just for fun, still missing 1 more... haiz... never mind about that... like audrey said last night *Your future is in your hands* (malas write the rest) lolz sms with her till 2.24 a.m pula -.- wake up at 7.54... YAWN, still sleepy...zzzzz

ADIOS AMIGOS,
Gary

dying.....

I'M BORED TO DEATH!!!!

BEAT IT!! GARRR!!! I'M NOT GONNA LET ANY1 MESS WITH MY LIFE ANYMORE!! SICK OF IT! yeah... and I finnaly realised... it wasnt love, it was lust that took control of me... MAN, I'm such a loser... dont wan talk about it.... I'm gonna get my driving license soon!!! weeeeee!!!! drive everywhere, pick them up, have fun ~~~ den drink till we get drunk!! * who's gonna drive us home? * HAHAHAHAHA, I'm just excited cause my com is back from repair XXDD WWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! HIGH!!!!!!!

Survivor - Eye of the tiger
Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive
So many times, it happens too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

[Chorus:]
It's the eye of the tiger, it's
the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds, still we take to the street
For the kill with the skill to survive

[Chorus]

Risin' up, straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

[Chorus]

The eye of the tiger
[Repeats to fade out]

AFTER HEARING THIS SONG!!! I KNOW I CANNOT GIVE UP IN MY LIFE!! NO WAY IN HELL I WILL DO THAT!!! GAH!!! THANKS AUDREY FOR LAST NIGHT SMS XD

Some1 tell me why?

Do all this shit happen for a reason? or just because you've made a wrong choice .... I feel like all this happen because of a stupid reason... I dont know... I dont give a damn about it now... I dont even know whether I want to go KL, study at Taylor's college... or Sunway... or stay here... study lo, wat else.... *shish* right now I'm really dont know anything.... can any1 who read this blog tell me something meaningful? .... *shish* seriously...

Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

hmmmm.... hard choice

Finnaly I can change my phone again when I go to KL at chirstmas time~~ YAY but then there's a catch (why is there always *a catch*? beats me) my dad said "if u wan a new phone and driving lisence, you have to work at the office till u go college." Of course I can do that ... I think? XD anyways I checked the web and 2 phones caught my attention

Sony Ericsson Satio or Nokia X6? need  to decide.... HMMMMM

but I like both.... can I have both? (since I had 2 handphones on my disposal XD

Dont l8r he give me this answer...

  YOU CAN JUST SUCK MA BALLS!!!!

OMFG,WTF LA, if he give me that answer , no hope T.T

Ciao Y'all
Gary

Dreams, shits and giggles

James Blunt - You're beautiful...
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,(Real version)
Flying high,(clean version)
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.


yeah... this songs says it ... man.... I've been drinking again.... since I have no more vow... what can I do? just drink and die slowly better.... Haiz.... I thought life would be that simple, in fact... it's so fucking hard.... that moment make me realise ... life isnt easy, you have to suffer the pain... then rise up and do the right thing, I dont know if it true or not.

If God gave me a chance ... I would wish for time itself to rewind.... back to where I 1st saw her... then I would know what would happen and not make the same mistake twice... but, people, y'all know I'm talking bullshit here... (no1 read my blog... I'm just writing it to clear my thoughts)... these few nights I dreamt about sth ... the past and the future... the past... well I dont wanna talk about it, but the future was full of white faces? (non-clear images) I dreamt that there was a reunion party, I was wearing a black, slick suit~~ and I was thin and hot (WTF) XD just ... have the perfect body la... man, if that really happen in the future, I would be glad... but then, the girl next to me... was holding my hand, I looked at her but all I see is a white, unclear face... and then the next thing i realise I woke up and scream WWWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYY???!!!!!

Well it's a glimpse of the future... I hope its true.... lol, seriously... They found their prince charming/ princess beauty... and I havent yet, wtf WHY AM I THINKING OF THIS??!!! ARRGGGHHH ENOUGH!

Ciao y'all (if any1 is reading this...)
Gary

I dont know whether I'm DEAD OR NOT!!!!! ARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! MY ACCOUNT!!! T.T. I'm so pissed..... God dammit... 3 more subjects, 8 more days to freedom, 30 days to the end of the year, and a whole 365 days to look forward to, after that~~~ hey, it rhyms XD

In case u dont get it, the landlord is the baby girl XD

Jason Mraz ft Colbie Caillat - Lucky
Do you hear me?
Talking to you
Across the water
Across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky
Oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets harder

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ohhhohhhohhhohhohhohhhohh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you, I promise you I will

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through the trees
Move so pretty, you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ohhhohhhohhhohhohhohhhohh
Ohhhohhhohhhohhohhohhhohhohhohhohh

wth.... just posting~~~

Signing off,
Gary

Things keep repeating itself again. I dont know why, but somehow nothing can make me happy now... since long I have lost my innerself... I started being emo then.... well all my life, I've been going through lies and other goddamn stuffs... (hell if u guys dont wan to read it dont read, it's my blog and I'd write whatever hell do I wan to). Even when you guys saw me have a good time and laugh all I wanted... I'd just give a fake smile and laugh... there's nothing that can make me have the real smile back... for the real me is dead inside a long time ago... its like a shell carrying me around lifeless.... I'd better just let this sickness of mine kill me instead... slowly beating to its own death.... Those of u who know that only thing that can make me feel happy and alive back.... I dont need to say a thing now.. I know I have to study for account... but.... bah, no1 cares a goddam thing I said anyhow... whatever.

Signing off,
Gary

soooooo free ah?

Me neither~~ I dont know why am I that free to post my blogs when it's SPM day... should be studying account.... but dont have the mood, yeap, just now went to watch Twilight: New Moon, not bad, not like most of those vampire love stories... among all those this one, I'd give 2 thumbs up (If I had 10 I would XD). when the part Jacob wanna kiss Bella (which he didnt get it, poor bastard, I dont feel sorry for him XD) those girls seating bottom... suddenly scream *KISS ME!!!!* wtf la, go back to america, find that Taylor Lautner guy and kiss him la *shish* whatever... Oh, I went with Audrey and Arthur (since Jacky cant come, had to call him~~) hmm.. A and A .... LOL JUST REALISED THAT~~~~ damn reservation ... have to take the ticket 45 minutes earlier from the time of the show... gawd~~ Audrey blame me for not goin to take the tickets earlier~~ and start to get pissed off and say wanna go home~~ luckily we managed to get the tickets but have to sit seperatly..... saw Scott and his sis.... and before you know it, when the show start, Audrey message me "Oh my god, TSL is sitting right in front of me now." turned and saw her with another guy.... (lovebirds~~) the place is packed with lots of people la... mostly ALL is couple... (why cant I have it right now... HAIZ) but then.... damn missed my chance to get to know her... GAWD, nope I'm not blaming u Audrey XD... HAHA

Glen Medeiros - Nothing's gonna change my love for you

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't want to live without you

CHORUS:
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead a way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't want to live without you

CHORUS

Thats all I can say now

Peace out Y'all
Gary

6 down ... 4 more to the doors of freedom

GOOD NEWS FOR ME AND MY FRIENDS~~~~~ 6 subjects down and 4 more~~~ (3 for u guys =.=, damn u guys.... ) then after this... its goodbye school ( I'll miss it ) and hello new world~~~ haha, I havent decide where to continue my studies (maybe) but then... see my results 1st~~~ THANK YOU GOD (I hope) I THINK I GOT 30 FREE 30 MARKS ON ADD MATHS PAPER 2!!! XD, weeeeeeeeee. Bah, enough of this, if later backfire, I malu.

Avenged Sevenfold - Dear God

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
and all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

For those of u who understand the meaning of this song.... It speaks through here~~

AMEN! XD

Ciao y'all
Gary

Stand as a broken man

Boys Like Girls - Broken Man
I want to scream, until no sound comes out and you've learned your lesson
I want to swallow these pills to get to sleep
So I don't have to make a bad impression

I need to start to be myself
Cause I'm sick of everybody else

I won't let you bring me down
It's here and now I'm breaking out
I will learn to love again
But I will stand a broken man

I wanna run, but only far enough to make you miss me
I wanna take back all the shit that I have done
But I guess you were better off without me

I need to start to be myself
Cause I'm sick of everybody else

I won't let you bring me down
It's here and now, I'm breaking out
I will learn to love again
But I will stand a broken man

I took one big step and I looked away
And then I thought of all the things that I wanted to say
I'm always too late
You never got your story straight
I'm always up late
I think I'm everything you hate

I took one big step and I looked away
And then I thought of all the things that I wanted to say
I'm always too late
You never got your story straight
I'm always up late
I think I'm everything you hate

I took one big step and I looked away
And then I thought of all the things that I wanted to say
I'm always too late
You never got your story straight
I'm always up late
I think I'm everything you hate

I won't let you bring me down
It's here and now, I'm breaking out
I will learn to love again
But I will stand a broken man

(I took one big step and I looked away, and I thought of all the things that I wanted to say)
I won't let you bring me down
(I'm always too late, you never got your story straight, I'm always up late, I think I'm everything you hate)
It's here and now I'm breaking out
(I took one big step and I looked away, and I thought of all the things that I wanted to say)
I will learn to love again
(I'm always too late, you never got your story straight)
But I will stand a broken man

Yup... the song speaks for itself so I dont need to say anything today... dont feel like expressing today... just this pic...

BABY RAPES DOLLS!!!! XDXP

Ciao y'all,
Gary

The Mask Within Me (Bleach)

LOL, I'm just putting a pic thats all XD, yeah... Maths was easy la... but like experiences teached me in the past. Dont underestimate anything in life, eventhough it looks easy, it could be a deadly trap that is ready to spring and kill u~~~ lolz XD talking shit here I know~~ P.moral 2mr.... just study some la, since I'm gonna fluck it -.- *shish*

THIS MOVIE I MUST WATCH (sabar la, 4 more months WTF LAAAA!!!) GAARRR MUST WATCH!!!!

Okay, this movie takes place somewhere in the middle eastern... lots of action, cool places, and yeah... its impossible but the title and the movie speaks itself, Prince Dastan ( Jake Gyllenhaal ) who soon obtain the dagger of time, learn that some baddies wanna take the dagger and DESTROY THE WORLD with sandstorm... (thats the best they can get to offer??) anyway the prince soon learn the real power of the dagger of time, which REWINDS time and defy death itself and team up with a rival princess, Tamina (Gemma Arteton) and set off on a journey full of danger and excitement~~~ the rest is up to you to watch it ~~ XD HAHA

Ciao y'all
Gary

My cinderella~~~~

LOL STUPID LA, my brother and I talked about the girl I liked, mana tahu suddenly call her cinderella -.-||| but I like it ~~~ XXDD I'M HYPER BABY!!! WOO!!!

Something in me changed le ... I'm not being emo again ~~ YAY (is that a good thing?) and I got lesser problems... yeah yeah 2day's my birthday~~~ haha had a self celebration on myself (since parents go to church and hospital to visit my uncle...) so its just left over pizza (birthday cake) and mashed potato (for dessert) the real cake they bought it yesterday at strawberry after dinner at upperstar.... damn la, WHY cant they like give me some suprise??? ALWAYSSSS have to buy in front of me, ask me wat cake and then I have to smile there and say " O " haiz..... but not their fault also la... ( well still, cause they have to do it 9 MONTHS LATE??? WHY I HAVE TO BE BORN IN 22nd NOVEMBER 1992!!! CANT IT BE EARLIER??!! LOLZ, I'm blaming on how slow they had to do it here~~~ XD) and also SPM session lo now -.-, like audrey said in her blog, celebrate IT after SPM~~~ beers, shisha and cakes (dont forget the fries) yup, its either at the bars at tanjung aru.... hmm... fireworks... still in progress on that ~~

I'm happy as I used to be ... but I dont know is that a good thing... celebrating my birthday, without somebody special... not something to be happy about... but whats done is done... I cant get another chance... maybe, after death me itself.

OH and jacky, if you're reading this, dont tell ANY1 about my sickness... CAPISH?!

Adios amigos~~
Gary

Jesse McCartney - Take you sweet time
It isn't a crime to want
A little space to breathe
But you will be fine,The sun again will shine
On you
Whatever you do

(Chorus)
Take your sweet,sweet time
Cuz I'll be here, when you change your mind
Take your sweet,sweet time
I'll be here for you baby
Anytime

I'm feeling you pull away
'Cause letting go isn't easy for me
But you'll never fly
With someone else's wings,I know
Wherever you go

(Chorus)
Take your sweet,sweet time
I'll be here, when you change your mind
Take your sweet,sweet time
I'll be here for you baby
Anytime

I will never stand in your way
Whereever your heart may lead you
I will love you the same
And I will be your comfort everyday
Do you hear the words I say

(Chorus)
Take your sweet,sweet time
I'll be here (I'll be here)when you change your mind
Take your sweet,sweet time
I'll be here for you baby
Take your sweet,sweet time
I'll be here when you change your mind
Take your sweet,sweet time
I'll be here for you baby
Anytime

Oh, I'll be here, for you
I will be here
I~~~~~~~~oh I'll be here
I will be here

Boyzone - Everyday I love you

I don't know but I believe
That some things are meant to be
And that you'll make a better me
Everyday I love you
I never thought that dreams came true
But you showed me that they do
You know that I learn somethng new
Everyday I love you
'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul.
It's a touch when I feel bad
It's a smile when I get mad
All the little things I am
Everyday I love you
Everyday I love you boy
Everyday I love you
'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul
If I asked would you say yes?
Together we're the very best
I know that I am truly blessed
Everyday I love you
And I'll give you my best
Everyday I love you

I'm just being lifeless here posting songs and shits HAHA... Oh crap that reminds me ... 2mr is my birthday... not a happy 1 I would expect... haha who cares anyway... I can wish myself happy birthday... nop, no party, SPM time how can -.-... great... 1 digit to raise on my life cap ( SHIT I'M GETTING OLD!!!! did I lost my virginity lately?) XD the fuck la, UUUUU SHISA!! XP

Ciao y'all,
Gary

All american rejects - It ends tonight
Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

13th and 14th november 2009.... I wont forget those words you told me that day... dont worry, I'm not gonna run around telling every1 about it. I'll keep it for myself... when u are down and sad, I couldn't do anything, but to just play stupid with you, I told u before that I'll be there and support u no matter wat... guess those days wont come back anymore... I've been stupid and selfish, but I dont know what I was doing. Its not about whether I like u or not, I know from the beginning that, I can never be with you.... because my judgement was clouded... I made you sad, and that you hate me... I didnt wanted them to get involved in this matter, but I did, somewhat... now is SPM, its good to see you and aaron still together now everyday... and that u arent down. I know that u're a strong girl after all, u told me before this before.

"=) its ok -.-" orphan is not tat weak >.< well i cant deny tat gals are weaker than guys"

when u're angry, I'd be patient and I never be angry with u. when u're sad, I try my best to calm u down. Like u said ... those time wont come back anymore.... why am I writing this? I dont know... it maybe something I had been holding back all this time.... but... I'm glad I met you... a best friend ... u changed everything I was back then from form 4... I'm neither asking for another chance nor asking u to forgive me... all I can say now... is that I'm sorry orphan( that for the last time ) and I'll never forget all those days we had fun....

DEAD

No nid to say, my sejarah is DEAD, SHIT, luckily I got some points, thank GOD jacky talked about that zaman renaisence (is this right? whatever) the most obvious tokoh, LEONARDO DA VINCI and MICHAELANGELO! shish, these guys wont save me obviously... 2mr EST, not part of it.... add maths, ekonomi, perdagangan, maths, p.moral, account and sains is all thats left.

Shane ward - all my life (love it)
I will never find another lover
Sweeter than you
Sweeter than you
And I will never find another lover
More precious than you
More precious than you

Girl you are
Close to me you're like my mother
Close to me you're like my father
Close to me you're like my sister
Close to me you're like my brother
You are the only one,
You're my everything
And for you this song I sing

[CHORUS]

All my life
I prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I
That I finally found you

All my life
I prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you
Feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

I said, you're all that I'm thinking of
Baby
Said I promise to never
Fall in love with a stranger
You're all I'm thinking of
I praise the Lord above
For sending me your love
I cherish every hug
I really love you

[CHORUS]

You're all that I ever know
When you smile on my face
All I see is a glow
You turn my life around
You picked me up when I was down

You're all that I ever know
When you smile my face glows
You picked me up when I was down

You're all that I ever know
When you smile my face glows
You picked me up when I was down

And I hope that you
Feel the same way too
Yes I pray that you
Do love me too

[CHORUS (2)]

All my life
I prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I
That I finally found you

All my life
I prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

[CHORUS (2) (repeat 2x)]

yeah yeah... being lifeless again... putting all this songs and what so ever crap stuffs....

It seems like some people have fail my test... (my kind of test, dont ask) but some passed my test ... and gain my trust and respect, I know that you guys wont understand it =P, no matter. This little test of mine seems stupid... I shouldnt have try it at the 1st place.... haiz, banana!! (wtf)
after SPM, it will be bars, fireworks, driving license, shisa (probably cause I always wanted to try it), shits and giggles (wtf AGAIN) and so on, so on. Maybe lose my virginity in the bar ( AS IF LA ) XDXDXPXP

Urgghhh... dunno what to do 2mr....

Ciao y'all
Gary

God always play with everyone's life....

Boys like girls (feat taylor swift) - Two is better than one
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought
"Hey, you know, this could be something"
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

'Cause maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you thought that it got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes
The way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing

That maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you thought that it got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one
Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, "Hey,"

Maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you thought that it got me coming undone
And I'm thinking
I can't live without you
'Cause, baby, two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
But I'll figure it out
When it's all said and done
Two is better than one
Two is better than one

I believe... that it is fate that brings and separate 2 people.... but it depends on the choices that you make ... and I made mine... If I choose to stay... I'll bring nothing more but pain, so I had to lie on some stuff... You may never know which am I telling the truth ... because .... I dont feel any trust anymore... that night, I asked god, to give me guidance and tell me wat to do... and I did what he told me to do... I guess if I lie about some stuff ... you may never have to know the truth... and be sad... but in the end, its pain and agony that makes it all gone to pieces...

the phrase "God works in a mysterious way" I begin to understand.... but whats the use anyway... It's too late, I sometimes wished... that HE would reverse time for me... to set everything right... and that it wont happen to the 2nd time... BUT, whats done is done.

yeah, fireworks at the 31st december... I think I'll make my 1st move, hopefully it wont backfire...

Peace out,
Gary

No chance in heaven....

Yeah yeah.... SPM is just 4 more days away.... I can't believe how times fly.... how many silly mistakes I've made.... I would think its beyond stupidity. Have I not met you here ... I wouldnt have hurt you... have I never existed... you and him would be together forever.... everything I did.... I've been selfish inside, maybe its the fear of losing you... I dont know ... funny how god would play with people's life.... I dont blame him ... sometimes I made my decision on my own... and it proves to be harsh, I've been a cold hard bastard.... I knew you were gonna say that word... it was suppose to break me or kill me from the inside... but it didnt, my feelings have been playing with me this few months, deception, manipulation, and etc.... it's like there's a different me inside... goddammit, I should have listen to my father to check with the physician...
I can say ... that I'm mentally retarded now... I dont know how or wat should I do, yeah... I guess I dont deserve to live... how many times have I think of killing myself? I've lost count.

I guess that killing myself now wont solve anything anymore... cause here I am, deal with it. all the times I spent with you ... all the things I did... all gone... I know that you would hate me now, I wanted to be sad but I can't ... I'm emotionless now, heartless and my judgement have been clouded with the screams beneath.... I cant even think straight this few months.... stubborn... to put it that way.

Shane ward - All my life
I will never find another lover sweeter than you, sweeter than you
And I will never find another lover more precious than you, more
precious than you
Girl you are close to me you're like my mother,
Close to me you're like my father,
Close to me you're like my sister,
Close to me you're like my brother
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing

All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

I said you're all that I'm thinking of.....
Said, I promise to never fall in love with a stranger,
You're all I'm thinking of, I praise the Lord above,
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug,
I really love you

All my life,I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you,
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me too

You're all that I ever known, when you smile, on my face, all I see is a glow.
You turned my life around, you picked me up when I was down,
You're all that I ever known, when you smile your face glows
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known, when you smile on your face all I see is a glow,
You picked me up when I was down and I hope that you feel the same way
too,
Yes I pray that you do love me too

All my life, I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too
[repeat till fade]

God... give me strength.... I need guidance....

Signing off,
Gary

It's all fate....

Nickleback - If everyone cared..

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

[Chorus:]
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing

Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
(I'm alive)

[Chorus x2]

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
When nobody died...

[Chorus]

We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died

all the things happened... it's all fate... I'm not a guy that believes in fate or had alot of faith with GOD... but I'm damn sure he's real alright... funny... how HE likes to play with everyone's life and made them feel hurt ... anyhow ... last night I feel emotionless... no mood... thunder outside... all the sudden tears rolling down of my eyes, I neither feel sad nor down... but I cried alright...

LOLZ jennifer's body really SUCK, story line bad, I dont get 1 fucking shit out of this movie?! and I feel VERY sleepy on this movie~~

Peace out,
Gary

Michael Jackson - This is it
1,2,3,4
This is it, Here I stand
I’m the light of the world
I feel grand
And this love, I can feel
And I know, Yes for sure
It is real

And it feels as though I’ve seen your face a thousand
times
And you said you really know me, yourself
And I know that you have got addicted with you eyes
But you say you’re gonna leave it for yourself

Oh
I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on please just understand

This is it
Like I said
I’m a light of your world
run away
we can feel
This is real
Every time I’m in love yeah I feel

And I feel as though I’ve known you since a thousand
years
And you tell me that you’ve seen my face before
And you said to me that you don’t want me hanging
around
many times wanna do it here before
Oh yeah
I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on please just understand
This is it
I can feel
I’m the light of the world
This is real
feel my song
we can say
And I tell you feel that way

And it feels as though I’ve known you for a thousand
years
And you said you saw my face yourself
And you said want to go with you all the while
And I know that it’s really for myself
Oh yeah
I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on please dear understand

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on dear please understand
Oh yeah

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan


yeah yeah..... in love again... just 5 days to go SPM, already get another feeling..... I hate this random feelings..... well.... that day at 1borneo... I bluff with gordon she's there, mana tahu really there... YES, this is called fate.... but right after I had a heart wound? .... I really dont know, must be half of that feeling have been gone along time ago.... thanks to them, I know how to let go of it.... but of what course? I dont know does she hate me.... or just afraid things will go wrong like that day again... OKAY, enough about my stupid love problem.

2day... well its class party, have some fun la... but quite boring than expected -.- well they did the best la.... I WONDER, should I post that video of nasrul pole dancing or wat? XD OKAY I WILL !!!! u guys know the rest la... I lazy type all those inside here,

Ciao amigos,
Gary

Feeling sick......

SWT!!!! I'm really feeling sick to my stomach right now zzz GODDAMMIT and l8r I have to go tuition again..... the eeefffffff. Today Audrey got pissed off ... lolz I dont even know how to calm her down ... but just let her be or else she kill me T.T... kena tumbuk also ~~ lucky not slap on the face, THAT IS MORE PAIN!!!! Haha wat to do, people steal her idea and dont appreciate her -.-, I really hate people bully the lil ones, ( no offense sis ) XD. This is something I wanted to write

Okay.... truth is .... I planned it from the start... I didnt know when it will happen ... but it happened alright... I somehow knew that she's going to ask Jacky that question one day.... and that she'll not lie about it... I just play along with this.... I'm not mad of any of my friends 1 ... I know they're trying to help... and help I got it.... When she asked me the question ... I have to say "the chamber have just loosen up" ..... actually it wasnt locked away from my heart at all... I still had that feeling with her.... somehow.... the inside told me "DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT AARON!! JUST TAKE HER!!" but I cant submit to it..... long last... I've been in pain.... and I think ... the best way .... is that I stay away from her..... My judgement was clouded heavily... my heart was pierced with almost 4 swords inside.... Okay, I know I'm starting to talk weird here.... what I didnt anticipated.... is that Jacky would say it all to her... and the group would hate her..... I'm sorry in behave of my friends.... they will cool down in time....

I know.... that I would not be the 1 that you can love.... and that I know that u try to make me lose hope on you ... and that I wont be able to get you.... when that night, u told me to leave .... I dont know ..... I respect your decision.... and that this bear left orphan to the 1 you love..... you gave me 1 more chance ... and I've wasted it.... the promise we made .... I had to break it.... but that last promise I wont break... and that is your gift..... when you were sad... I cant be there for you always.... no is to be blamed here .... the person only to blamed ... is me.... I made this thing gone bad to worse.... like THE ROAD NOT TAKEN..... I cant go back to that road anymore... it's my choice..... I have made mine...

Chris Daughtry - Over You
Now that it’s all said and done


I can’t believe you were the one

To build me up and tear me down

Like an old abandoned house

What you said when you left

Just left me cold and out of breath

I fell too far, was in way too deep

Guess I let you get the best of meeee



(Chorus)

Well I never saw it coming

I should have started running

A long, time agooo!

And I never thought I’d doubt you

I’m better off without you

More than you, more than you know

I’m slowly getting closure

I guess it’s really over

I’m finally gettin’ better

Now I’m picking up the pieces

From spending all of these years

Putting my heart back together

‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through

I got over you!!!

(End Chorus)



You took a hammer to these walls

Dragged the memories down the hall

Packed your bags and walked away

There was nothing I could say,

And when you slammed the front door shut

A lot of other’s opened up

So did my eyes so I could see

That you never were the best for meee



(Chorus)

Well I never saw it coming

I should have started running

A long, time agooo!

And I never thought I’d doubt you

I’m better off without you

More than you, more than you know

I’m slowly getting closure

I guess it’s really over

I’m finally getting’ better

Now I’m picking up the pieces

From spending all of these years

Putting my heart back together

‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through

I got over you!!!

(End Chorus)



I never saw it coming

I should have started running

A long, long time agooo

And I never thought I’d doubt you

I’m better off without you



And I never saw it coming

I should have started running

I’m finally getting better

Now I’m picking up the pieces

From spending all of these years

Putting my heart back together

And I got over you!!!

And I got over you!!!

And I got over you!!!



The day I thought I’d never get through.
I got over you…

Chris Daughtry - No Suprise

I've practiced this for hours, gone round and round
And now I think that I've got it all down
And as I say it louder I love how it sounds
Cause I'm not taking the easy way out
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn't know how
Held onto it forever just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God know we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
That's why this comes as no, as no surprise

If I could see the future and how this plays out
I bet it's better than where we are now
But after going through this, it's easier to see the reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

The kiss goodnight, it comes with me
Both wrong and right, our memories
The whispering before we sleep, just one more thing that you can't keep
Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

just posting a song thats all ...

what i've done?

Linkin Park - What I've done

In this farewell
There's no blood
There's no alibi
Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies

So let mercy come
And wash away

What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands
Of uncertainty

So let mercy come
And wash away

What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

For what I've done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done

I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

What I've done
Forgiving what I've done

I really dont know what have I done.... why did I met u on the 1st place.... I believed ... that all this time, is god's will to let me get to know you... but now .... I dont know am I defying him... or I'm a following his plan.... maybe all this was meant to be.... what I know is that I'm lucky to have a good friends like you guys... ( you know who I meant ) I'll never forget any of you even if I die... hmph... death....

I may not know what the future is installed for me right now... but I have to forget about you in order to move forward.... I'm sorry that I can't be with you anymore... I hope you'd understand .... you changed my life for the past 2 years since I 1st meet you and know you....back then, other people talk bad things about you... but I never listen to them, I never had my thoughts thinking that u're horrible.... instead I think of you as a lost angel.... an angel that need guidance.... and that you were the one.... of all the girls I met... I never had that feeling before in my entire life... well... I guess this maybe the last thing I would write about you now.... Goodbye.

Signing off,
Gary

heartbreak....

I really dont know now.... I'm feeling sad... but not sad... I feel hot but its cold instead.... I felt cold but its hot.... I'm having a random mood and senses now.... God.... have I've been so blind all this time?! and that all the things I caused is only misery, hate, and sorrowness?! HAVE I DONE SOMETHING WRONG???!!! PLEASE TELL ME!!! ..... she changed everything of my life and on that day I told myself I'm devoted to her and that I vow to be by her side ... to support her whenever she needs me..... and now... I really dont even know where this thing is going.... SPM is around the corner.... I dont want to tell her about how I really felt cause I dont want to put any pressure or burden to her.... but then .... I cant blame you guys for being like that.... I know u guys r trying to help... and that u dont want me to feel sad all the time .... yeah yeah... friends is everything to me... but so does love... if it was u guys to decide? which would you choose? Your future or your friends? sure we can be friends forever .... but there are sometimes that we have to spend our times with our lover too, right? maybe ... idk... its hard for me to choose right now....

I felt bad right now and that its me who have been selfish all this time.... I know you wont read it until SPM ends.... I'll leave you now... as you told me to do.... Thank you for changing my life for the past 2 years.... I wont forget u though.... and I hope that u can make a right decision this time...

This morning, I really dont know what happen to me ... (man, I hate my pimple on my nose -.-, its the 2nd time in 2 years!!!!) Like Jess said la... *Why u having a mood swing?* and aaron also ask *Whats wrong with you?* ... well I dont know really.... lost memory maybe XD, haha... yeah yeah... I got some problems again la... the same problems.... well not much to care la this time.... I mean ... who cares anyway....

Michael Buble - Sway
When marimba rhythms start to play
Dance with me, make me sway
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
Hold me close, sway me more

Like a flower bending in the breeze
Bend with me, sway with ease
When we dance you have a way with me
Stay with me, sway with me

Other dancers may be on the floor
Dear, but my eyes will see only you
Only you have that magic technique
When we sway I go weak

I can hear the sounds of violins
Long before it begins
Make me thrill as only you know how
Sway me smooth, sway me now

Other dancers may be on the floor
Dear, but my eyes will see only you
Only you have that magic technique
When we sway I go weak

I can hear the sounds of violins
Long before it begins
Make me thrill as only you know how
Sway me smooth, sway me now
You know how
Sway me smooth, sway me now

SPM 13 more days this and I'm still blogging? wth la.... haiz.... guess somethings cant be forgotten.... she changed everything I am back then.....

Signing off,
Gary

Wat am I doing...

Urrgghh.... I cant made up my mind upon where to continue my studies.... I wont be going to I.S. (my mum was suprised and my dad say dont play play =.= of course I'm not playing... I'M SERIOUS??!!) Cant they sometimes tell whether I'm serious or not? ... jesus... I'm so blur right now... I can't even make my own decisions.... If only I can see the future.."yeah keep dreaming on" thats what Jacky would tell me =.=........

I didnt choose I.S because of some reasons.... I don't know is it the right thing to do or not.... but ... it's better that way. Maybe I'll go penang with Jacky... or I go my own ways.... right now I need my father's and brother's advice.... It's the least I can do right now....

Nickelback - I'd come for you...

Just One more moment, that's all that's needed.
Like wounded soldiers in need of healing.
Time to be honest, this time I'm bleeding
Please don't dwell on it, cause I didn't mean it

I cant believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground
But it doesn't matter cause I've made it up forgive me now
Everyday I spend away my souls inside out
Gotta be someway that I can make it up to you now, somehow.

By now you'd know that I'd come for you
No one but you, yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you

I was blindfolded, but now I'm seeing
My mind was closing, now I'm believing
I finally know what just what it means to let someone in
To see the side of me that no one does or ever will
So if your ever lost and find yourself all alone
I'd search forever just to bring you home,
Here and now this I vow

By now you'd know that I'd come for you
No one but you, yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you
You know I'd always come for you

Yes I'd come for you, no one but you,
Yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to

And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you

No matter what gets in my way
As long as there's still life in me
No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you
I'd crawl across this world for you
Do anything you want me to
No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you
You know I'll always come for you

Well.... I dont think you need me to be there for you anymore now.... because there's some1 else who loves you and he's always there with you on every problem you have.... every day, I feel we're like going apart.... It's like I dont know who you are anymore... and you dont know who am I... everytime I try to talk, chat with you... you're always busy ... or you throw me aside to the shadow.... well... I dont blame you anymore..... It's alright ... I deserved all of the damnation.....

AARRGGGHHHH I think I'm being paranoid again ... maybe you're just busy and stressed out on your SPM... NEVER MINDZZZ

Son by four - Purest of Pain
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call you
But I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
And so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live without you
And maybe someone else is standing there beside you
But there's something baby that you need to know
That deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking

Chorus
Vida, give me back my fantasies
The courage that I need to live
The air that I breathe
Carino mio, my world's become so empty
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the purest of pain

I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
That I didn't hurt when you walked away
But to tell you the truth I can't find my way
And deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.

Chorus (twice)

Vida, give me back my fantasies
The courage that I need to live
The air that I breathe
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call you
But I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
And so I surrender just to hear your voice

Signing off,
Gary

Lifehouse - You and Me

what day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up
and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

all of the things that I want to say
just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping inwards
you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

there's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
everything she does is beautiful
everything she does is right

you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

what day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive

Audrey didnt came 2day ... cause she wanna sleep at home (in other words, LAZY) but still can talk bout sth else la... usually if 1 of the gangs not here dunno wat to talk T.T, this morning, jacky write out the things we need to buy BEFORE going to australia. When she told us she's gonna bring a sleeping bag? (that was moral time) Me and aaron was like ... wth?? (I was thinking sending her to the morgue while she was asleep or throw her like throwing a dead body to somewhere?? XD) and yeah... nasrul said sth about want to be insaf?? and not saying *fuck* forever, but he failed... 3 times XD

yeah... jessica's birthday plan changed... to PIZZA HUT after school.... nasrul cannot go cause have to go back to kampung? for his granma funeral... (not his real granma?) so yeah... thats all I could write 2day... I still cannot forget bout her.... ciao...

Signing out,
Gary

Can i live without you? ....

Celine Dion - How do I live without you...

How do I get thru one
night without you,
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be.

Oh and I, I need you in my arms
Need you to hold,
You're my world, my heart, my soul.
If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away
Everything good in my life.

Without you there'd be
no sun in my sky.
There would be no love in my life.
There'd be no world left for me

And I, baby I don't know
what I would do.
[ Lyrics provided by www.mp3lyrics.org ]
I'd be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away
Everything real in my life
And tell me now......

How do I live without you?
I want to know.
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I
Oh, how do I live?

If you ever leave.
Baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby, 'cause you know that you're
Everything good in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you?
I want to know
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go.

How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I
Oh, how do I live
How do I live without you, baby?

I dont think I could live without you.... It's like you're part of my life already from the very beginning I met you... Of all the other girls... ( I got some gf before also la ) but ... the feeling ba ... lasted 2 or 3 months... but then... 2 years?? wtf I think I'm being so lifeless... right now... its best I just be your teddy bear.... thats all... and I want you to know... that I'll always be there for you....

Signing off,
Gary aka Teddy Bear

What is right and what is not....

I cant tell wat I do now is right or wrong.... it seems like everything I did was right... but its wrong to most of friends... I dont know ... I guess I wasn't clever enough to do the right thing.... Its now out of my hands now.... I guess backing out now is not an option...

3 Doors Down - Here without you
A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face

A thousand lights had made me colder and I don�t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I�m dreaming of your face

I�m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I�m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it�s only you and me

The miles just keep rollin
as the people either way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
but I hope that it gets better as we go

I�m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I�m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it�s only you and me

Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won�t take away my love
And when the last one falls,
when it�s all said and done
it get hard but it won�t take away my love

I�m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I�m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it�s only you and me

I'll just let everything be for now... It's SPM... I dont want to put any tension to you or myself...

Signing off,
Gary aka ... Teddy bear who get wat he deserves.... sorrowness and pain...

Forgetting all of it

Simple plan - How can this happen to me...
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light.
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I'm laying here tonight
And I can’t STAND the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t STAND the pain


*CHORUS*
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I’m fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold
On to a time when
Nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

*CHORUS*
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
(just putting this song for fun)

Haha ... after you answered my questions ... I finnaly understand it... thanks for answering me truthfully.... I'm neither sad nor down... I'm glad u did answer me =), and dont worry ... I wont steal the bride from the groom anymore.... haha samson, if you're reading this, then I dont need any freaking church or watsoever religous teaching or spiritual mumbo jumbo, I got the answer I was expecting and I'm totaly free from my pain now... ^_^

And yeah... I'm still thinking of that ... 10 years curse of not dating or love any girls and guys... (I aint gay and I'm not bisexual like nasrul =.=|||)
CAPISH?(meaning OKAY?) oh and audrey... I still think u should be an office girls... NOT that I'm underestimating u but... well... bahhhh if I say more l8r marah me lagi tu ~.~, your own decision la =P

Signing off,
Gary aka teddy bear

HELL!!!!!!

GARRRRRRR these few days I can't even concentrate or study well !! SHIT OH!!!!! I also don't know why ... *TELL ME WHYYYYYY IS SO HARD TO FORGET, DONT REMIND MEEEEEE*
LOLZ 2day got that sejarah ceramah thinggy.... guess most of us never pay attention to it since we want to FAIL sejarah instead of.... getting A+ on sej??? (if I really pass this sejarah ... some1 give me a gun to shoot myself) ...

Goo Goo Dolls - I just want you to know who I am

And I’d give up forever to touch you
‘Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now


And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
‘Cause sooner or later it’s
just don’t want to miss you tonight


And I don’t want the world to see me
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive

And I don’t want the world to see me
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don’t want the world to see me
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don’t want the world to see me
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everythïng’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

I dont know why I've been finding old songs these few days... must have some connection on it to my feelings ... I'm confused... OH, I forgot 1 more thing... at the hall the teacher on that song ... Miley Cryus- THE CLIMB!!!!!!!!!! Then I dont know WHO THE HELL keep singing it after the the ceramah ... *its the climb~~~ its the climb~~ its the... STFU LAAA B!TCH* ( the fan po from other class ) stupiak...
The new drama... * BORN RICH* looks nice.... wanna watch it... cause got some scene from KK, sabah... haha now that sabah is also a place to film .... like my brother said... maybe and I meant MAYBE, next time, bollywood or hollywood will come to shoot their movies here... and this place will be famous... haha guess that will happen after we all died (wtf am I saying)

Signing out,
Gary aka teddy bear

MEDIC!!!!!!

I think I really need a doctor ... or a pshycologist.... (whatever its called...) I AM TOO OBSESSED @.@.... okay .. don't panic... its not the end of the world right?? I mean its not that serious right??? (oh shyt, I'm panicking....)

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

holy shit... I'm really going loco .... DDDDDAAAAAAMMMMMMMM
I NEED TO TRAVEL THE WHOLE WORLD @.@

lolz just now Audrey told me she want to work at an office... I was thinking office girl ... for starters, to get some experience ba... and yeah suddenly she asked me if she can work at my dad's office... LOLZ I was about to said that, when she herself said it... so yeah.. see 1st la... I have to take over the office 1 day.... (its not world wide... but maybe it will be soon, XD) I got alot to learn too .... If I can't go college or uni (or maybe I dont wanna) ... Then I'll work at my dad's office.... hmm... and yeah .. job is open for you Audrey... so feel free to stop by if you wanna work and get some experiences

Signing off,
Gary aka Teddy bear ( still dont think its right )

Here we are again...

Lolz.. I've been smsing with some folks and ask them of their plan for next year... most of them want to go overseas study... some work with their fathers, others ... well, HAVE FUN 1ST THEN PLAN... (wtf) it couldnt get anymore worse than that... right?

(This is a note to everyone and myself)
Ask yourself this... If you were to make a decision... would you listen to that person, OR do what your heart and instincts tells you to do? Its not about if you're weak in choosing or whatsoever... sure you can ask others for advices and help... but its important if you think its the right decision to make... and that decision have to be FINAL... you cant just think "oh wait, I made my mind"!! if its final then its FINAL. I'm telling this to everyone who read this ... to think before you choose.... or that decision would be your final act and it will ... and I mean it WILL hurt you and to ANYONE else.... You wouldnt want that ... would ya now?

Here I am ... yapping, bullshitting all the crap I said... why?? because NO ONE WOULD LISTEN A WORD I SAID!!! I MEAN NO ONE!!!

I know... I'm having an unstable mood again... dont feel like writing anymore... ciao...

Signing off,
Gary aka Teddy bear

Things got complicated

Wth... I may say it once and I may it a hundred times ... WTH LA. For these past few days is really confusing la... I also dunno wat am I doing (unconsious mind ... so I dunno wat to do) ... Ferik, I pray and wish for your grandmother to get well soon... sorry I didnt ask why u didnt came to school... I was blurry that time...

Great... 1st of all I dont know what is going on with the gangs.... and 2nd, they having problems again... 3rd and finnaly, I've been having some heart pain... no nothing to do with love or sth like that... DAM I really must go to gym after SPM... or I'll end up dead... just like uncle bob...( who's bob? )

Clay aiken - Invisible
Whatcha? doin? tonight
I wish I could be a fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Who's stealin' your dreams
Why can't I bring you into my life
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive

[Chorus]

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

Saw your face in the crowd
I call out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could read what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life

[Chorus]

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

I reach out
But you don't even see me
Even when I'm scream out
Baby, you don't hear me
I am nothing without you
Just a shadow passing through...

[Repeat Chorus]

If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...

yeah... I wish I was, so I can see what you doing now.... funny ... I cant stop thinking about you no matter what... It doesnt affect my studies or anything... but kinda miss you.... =X...

and yeah ... SORRY to those who invite me to check out the education fair... I didnt went there cause need to help my parents do stock check on the office... >.<

Aerosmith- I dont wanna close my eyes

could stay awake just to hear you breathing,
Watch you smile while you are sleeping,
While you're far away and dreaming,
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender,
I could stay lost in this moment forever,
When every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure,

(Chorus)
I don't wanna close my eyes,
I don't wanna fall asleep,
Cause I'd miss you babe,
And I don't wanna miss a thing,
Cause even when I dream of you,
The sweetest dream would never do,
I'd still miss you babe,
And I don't wanna miss a thing.

Lying close to you,
feeling your heart beating,
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming,
Wondering if it's me you're seeing,
And then I kiss your eyes,
And thank God we're together,
I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever,
Forever and ever.

(Chorus)

And I don't wanna miss one smile,
I don't wanna miss one kiss,
I just wanna be with you,
Right here with you, just like this,
Well I just wanna hold you close,
And feel your heart so close to mine,
And just stay here in this moment,
For all the rest of time
Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah

(Chorus repeated 2 times)

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing

This song is my feelings to you >.< ... cause me some problem to find it -.- but its worth everything...

man ... after SPM I'm sure to learn how to play some music instruments... guitar? eg(electric guitar), drum, piano(no waaaayyyyy), saksafon(I love this instrument) and etc etc

Quick post..

Okay I'm gonna write all this in just 10 minutes time so...

Yeah.. I've been fine for these few days... but the problems come and go as they please.... arrghh save it...

Well 2 days ago... I went to toilet with ricky... we talked awhile... and he notice I have a problem... so I told him some of my problems... and he gave me quite an advice ... and pondok just now he gave me another advices... yeah... I think he's right about it.... I should forget about it.... eventhough we didnt talk to each other always... he is a nice person (so called gay person) XD thanks alot !

My result for pp2 ...
Maths = 32/40 (still incomplete)
Bm = 29/100 ( OMGGGGGG DIE )
BI = 43/75 (terrible ... but better than last time I emo)
Sej (not yet)
Akaun (not yet)
Pdg (not yet)
Eko (not yet)
Science (not yet)
Add maths = 26/100 (T.T my 14 mark gone to dust, FUCK)

Well this is my current results... I doubt any1 would care or look at it, XD, just post for fun....

Hmm... this is all I have to write gotta run!!
Love my gangs and orphan. XD

Signing off,
Gary aka teddy bear.

days without you...

David Cook -Always be my baby

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby.

Second looks like minutes...
minutes looks like hours...
hours looks like days...
days looks like months...
months looks years....
and a year without u is like waiting for u for eternity...

Love is so complicated... isn't it? well according to experts.. love can make your life go easier.. or so to say make your life simple... it decreases your stress level, makes you feel alive, luckiest man/woman on the planet (everybody says that when they think they found their true love) but it also proves that sometimes love can be turned to a nightmare... obession, lust, anger, sadness, and etc... and you might think that you're doing sth to prove to her that you care.. but instead you're hurting yourself... even if he/she's your best friend, you wouldnt want to fight with him/her to steal the ones you love.... it would just cause agony and pain... but no matter what cost it has... you'll always let him/her know that you'll be at his/her side no matter what and you wouldnt want to break down easily... you have to fight to handle it sometimes.... (hmmm its like a note for myself... since i'm falling for someone else XD)

Signing off,
Gary aka teddy bear.

Crazzzzyyyyyyyyyyyy

LOLZ MY SECOND POST AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO PUT!!! SO I'M GONNA PUT STUPID STUFFS!!!! @.@...........................................................

Hmmm...... 1st things 1st.... still counting down spm... 38 DAYS TO GO FOR SPM... (Audrey, u miscounted 2 days behind lolz) after spm... GO TAKE DRIVING LICENSE, GO TO WORK AT MY FATHERS OFFICE!!, HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS ... AAANNNNNDDDD so on... haha, wow I'm proud of myself... this few weeks or days didnt play computer at all... ( thats because my computer is not fixed =.=||| and the laptop is in pieces now... so yeah using my uncle's ) but... if internet and all... I cannot resist!!! temptation..... fuck.... just like girls... they cant resist shopping new stuff and all, thats why its call TEMPTATION!!! ... not lust XD, lust is for guys and girls doing you know what... XD

Well after exercising with the trackmile... and do some sit ups... I feel much better and relaxed now ( although its tiring ...) buuutt it really pays off... okay... hmm.... one things for sure... if Jessica started a husband-list ... I should make a wife-list... XD but I dont know WHO TO START!!! AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH @.@ maybe the girls from my class... or some leng lui at other class... OORR college girls... (damn PLS DONT LET THE CURSE WORK ON ME!!!) either way I'm still feeling lonely T.T

Hmm... I'm slowly and slowly... AANNNDD slowly..... controling my emotions... guess the soul in me have not fully gotten out yet.... I not say I want to be heartless or whatsoever.... I'm talking about moving on with my DAMN life....

Well I've make my decision ... and decide to take the other road... that road I've taken a long time ago... I'm done with it... I'm moving on with the other 1.... Hope it wont be the biggest mistake of my life....

BUT HEELLLLLLLLLL I WANT GET HIGGGGHHHHHHHHH XXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDD LOLZ WTH IS WRONG WITH ME???!!!

Signing off,
Gary aka Teddy Bear

XDDDDDD

Lolz I cannot possibly type it 1 million time like u said... but....

I LOVE ORPHAN ( TO THE POWER OF INFINITY ) XXXXXXDDDDDDDD

ROFLMAOMGAWDAMNATIONICE!!!!! XD

HAHA I'M GOLAGILA ALREADY!!!!!!!! @.@.@.@.@ WWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HIGH ON CRACKS AND COCCAINES!!!! @.@ BLLLEEHHHHHH!!!! XD

1st things 1st ... hmm... wat am I suppose to start... well, I alreadi explain to orphan and said sorry to her... ( I NEVER WILL DUMP UUUUUUUUU ) and yeah... another problem solved... NO OTHER PROBS CAME...only add maths need to pass up 2mr ... zzz MALAS LAAAA.

so yeah.... I'm speechless *GASPING FOR AIR* and the reason I write those ... err... not gonna be here in the future?? ... is because I fear for death... You see... I dont know what sickness I have in my body... but it rarely hurts la... that day on thursday... I felt it again... right in my heart... I dont know what is it... and I dont want any1 to worry ba... sudah lah my father got heart problem now... and yet... I'm having it at a young age?? (god I really need to cut some weight after SPM) ... I'm still confident ... but worried at the same time... because I dont know if everytime I wake up... I would live to see the next day... or see the light again...

So I dont hope for anything.... I just wanna be happy now and do sth in my life...

Signing off,
Gary aka (still officially orphans teddy bear)

XD