Happy days

well... today is sunny and it looks like a bright day today. I got no mood on writing my dairy anymore. Yeah yeah... for those of u who didnt notice... I have a dairy, okay? all the personal probs,personal notes and what so ever... (not emo today)

Urgghh... i shouldnt have ate too much sushi last night.... my stomach hurts till now..

There's alot of stuff going trought my mind right now... like why am I writing this blog for anyway? just to let others know how I feel?? or just to let it all in a box.
I dont know myself... but it felt good...

I always had some stupid imagination of things... like me being a super hero? Hell I dont wanna know it... or imagine that I went to a far.. far place... through the whole galaxy... living in space... everything you can do in space... work, eat, sleep, sex??, and etc... but this is not worth it...

There are times that most people wouldnt notice something that is going on in me.... thats because I dont want my friends to share the burden I carry ... neither my parents ... nor my best brother know what problems i have right now... because they only said ... concentrate on your studies, study hard, this, that, bla bla bla and so on.

Okay ... so I'm still bullshitting about my inner soul gone out of me... well .. that is bullshit... but even my best friends dont even give a damn about it... cant blame them .. because I'm just babbling out all the crap that I said...

Haiz.... I dont know... sometimes its hard to move on with life... motivation,courage,will to live,and something to fight for.... this things keep me from falling off from london bridge.. and makes me stand up no matter what happens...
but there's a time I wonder... is this all worth it? Question is... if all the things I do and done.... is it all worth the life? Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I dont know myself. Only god knows what i'm doing and how i feel... but he's not helping alot... (thanks alot chunks)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA guess I'm just going MMAAADDD again...

those of you who REALLY are worried about me.... pls ... stop worrying for me if some people worry about me too much.... I'll think about it for some time... but i doubt my heart can stand for another letdown on the task i do...