living in the shadows...

I realise now... I'm not a man of my word... I say things that I would do, but at the end, I didn't.. I'm confuse, I dont know why I wont keep my word, is it that hard? and then I got an answer "You dont keep your words because you're scared and overconfident, why you're scared? because you're afraid that you would lose your friends.. thats why you made that promise without thinking, why you're overconfident? Is because you want to prove to yourself that you can keep that promise, but at the end, you didn't, dont ever do that again, you idiot!" Now I admit... I'm the big bafun in this picture.. I'm a big fool...

I've been living in the shadows for the past months.. even when I said, I found a good life now, loving it... and all the happy things I could think of... I'm not myself, why? because if I become myself, I wouldn't let go of things.. I would still live in the past then, so I have to change myself... A different me. Yet that part of me still feel guilt... and ... I dont know... I just feel like I'm in the middle of ... everything, I guess you were right then... I am the root of all the problems that happen... sometimes... I just wish to God that I can turn back time again.. and change everything... what would happen.. I may not even exist in everybody's life... Heck, I feel pathetic..

Guess this maybe the last time I write my blog *I know I say it alot of time, but now, I'm really considering*

Goodbye old me...


Hello shadow of myself.


Gary.. aka bear "forever will be yours"

Not much to write... as usual. Those of u who wonder why I put my recent post to draft and dont wanna post it.. well... I think it was too deep, so yeah, make it simple.

OKAY... so life itself now is good.. got my P license, new friends... new life.... good good... but still, feel like something's missing... what is it, ahhh yes, that little thing that would make a guy go gaga @_@, that little thing.... means alot to me...

How long has it passed now... looking back to the past, the day I was born, the day I 1st tasted nooodddlllleeeesssss XD, 1st day I went to kindergarden... primary school *that was an embarrassment, I dont wanna remember -.-* to secondary, 1st day I know what friendship is really like... and the 1st time I fall in love.. hmm... oh great, here we go again... JIWANG!!! thank you! Jacky and Yvonne *my long lost primary school friend* for calling me that @_@, and yeah, time flies again... very fast indeed =/, 3 weeks counting down to 4 weeks now... wow... what can u do??? its college so deal with it

Kris allen - Live like we're dying *this song is like an inspiration*
Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's to late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would've done

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution,
There'll no one on the line, yeah

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..
http://www.elyricsworld.com/live_like_we're_dying_lyrics_kris_allen.html

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

You never know a good thing till it's gone
You never see a crash till it's head on
Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it's gone

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying..

Signing out...
Gary aka bear