I realise now... I'm not a man of my word... I say things that I would do, but at the end, I didn't.. I'm confuse, I dont know why I wont keep my word, is it that hard? and then I got an answer "You dont keep your words because you're scared and overconfident, why you're scared? because you're afraid that you would lose your friends.. thats why you made that promise without thinking, why you're overconfident? Is because you want to prove to yourself that you can keep that promise, but at the end, you didn't, dont ever do that again, you idiot!" Now I admit... I'm the big bafun in this picture.. I'm a big fool...
I've been living in the shadows for the past months.. even when I said, I found a good life now, loving it... and all the happy things I could think of... I'm not myself, why? because if I become myself, I wouldn't let go of things.. I would still live in the past then, so I have to change myself... A different me. Yet that part of me still feel guilt... and ... I dont know... I just feel like I'm in the middle of ... everything, I guess you were right then... I am the root of all the problems that happen... sometimes... I just wish to God that I can turn back time again.. and change everything... what would happen.. I may not even exist in everybody's life... Heck, I feel pathetic..
Guess this maybe the last time I write my blog *I know I say it alot of time, but now, I'm really considering*
Goodbye old me...
Hello shadow of myself.
Gary.. aka bear "forever will be yours"
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