Yeap, the title says it, I'm an ass.. people see me that way, but do they even bother to care why? No, they dont, I dont like my life now.. not really, but just.. I dont feel like I belong here, I mean, why can't my parents give birth to me 2 years AFTER my brother was born? that would mean I'm 21 that time, so I would have an easy life now rather than this... I feel like a douche, yes..
Parents never did give any moral support or any love, I dont feel anything! why? because they didn't even give a damn about anything I do or achieve! all they care about is put the blame on me, scold my ass off and other piece of shit! All they care about is my brother! YES, I LOVE MY BROTHER! He's my brother in arms and BFF. AND YES, I'M JEALOUS! I know I should be grateful for all the sacrifice they have given to build this family, BUT IT'S LIKE THIS SON NEVER EXIST AT ALL! THEY THINK OF ME AS A DOG! TELL ME WHY?! my brother gets all the good stuff, while I get the fucked up stuff?! ALL THE GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO HIM AND NOT ME?! ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND UP THERE?!!!
Friends, sure.. some friends are good and all, but idk.. I really hate this feeling, I like them all, but the feeling, it's like they dont really like u, the atmosphere change directly to zzz.. I mean come on... if I can't talk surely u guys can say something, anything... *shish* I just feel abandoned, thats all...
okay, about that love pyramid, triangle thinggy? screw it, I just made it up, ahahahahaha!! but I found out, I really like a girl, she's pretty cute, I mean REALLY cute, lol~~ can't stop thinking about her...
IDK! I REALLY DK! it's like I need a guidance or sth... maybe a miracle... jesus, help me already...
Monday, September 27, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Been awhile since I update my blog.. I looked at my recent post and realize , "lol, I wrote alot of crap in this blog"
Lots of things happen... some sad, some happy, others idk.
16th September 2010, my cousin got married =D, finally that bastard gets it done *well its about bloody time he do that!* I'm really happy for him that he married a nice girl *short but.. yeah XP* I drank red wine, yeah... red wine, my parents owe me a big time for drinking that much on their behalf, anyway, we had a blast, food was good, everybody sang, and they were overjoyed =)
18th September 2010, when I was in my grandfather's *mother side* house, a call came through, I thought my dad was checking up on me, alas... terrible news, my grandfather passed away, I wasn't sad or down.. just stunned, cause I dont know him that much nor do I ever talked with him, well, cause I dont know how to talk their language... but for some people, it's a good thing that his suffering had ended, cause he had canser in his lung, he suffered long enough... God watch over him...
19th September 2010, had to go back to KK and then fly to KL, then get a bus from KL to Perak, damn tired zzz
20th September 2010, arrived at 1.25 a.m, damn tired, slept, next morning went to my grandfather's house and saw him lying in his coffin.. funny how when you look to a lifeless person, it's like, you're staring at a Mask of Death, but then, what I saw, is a smile. He had his last smile on his death bed... yeah... funeral time.. it really hurts my ars, knee and ankle, but... at least we can see him for the last time...
23rd September 2010, somehow, something change in me, I myself dont know what, but I can feel it.
24th September 2010, back to school... same drill as always... at night, Idk why my brother suddenly go to my mum room and started crying.. talking bout sth, idk what =/, well, better not ask...
Lol, yeah I know, its like I'm writing a diary, but what the hell =)
Even if times are hard, and that no one is there for you, I fight to thrive through this challenge. Hate me? anti me? ignore me? all those shit talks behind my back? I dont care, life is just cruel to everyone, and I will not fall, I will prevail, watch me.
Lots of things happen... some sad, some happy, others idk.
16th September 2010, my cousin got married =D, finally that bastard gets it done *well its about bloody time he do that!* I'm really happy for him that he married a nice girl *short but.. yeah XP* I drank red wine, yeah... red wine, my parents owe me a big time for drinking that much on their behalf, anyway, we had a blast, food was good, everybody sang, and they were overjoyed =)
18th September 2010, when I was in my grandfather's *mother side* house, a call came through, I thought my dad was checking up on me, alas... terrible news, my grandfather passed away, I wasn't sad or down.. just stunned, cause I dont know him that much nor do I ever talked with him, well, cause I dont know how to talk their language... but for some people, it's a good thing that his suffering had ended, cause he had canser in his lung, he suffered long enough... God watch over him...
19th September 2010, had to go back to KK and then fly to KL, then get a bus from KL to Perak, damn tired zzz
20th September 2010, arrived at 1.25 a.m, damn tired, slept, next morning went to my grandfather's house and saw him lying in his coffin.. funny how when you look to a lifeless person, it's like, you're staring at a Mask of Death, but then, what I saw, is a smile. He had his last smile on his death bed... yeah... funeral time.. it really hurts my ars, knee and ankle, but... at least we can see him for the last time...
23rd September 2010, somehow, something change in me, I myself dont know what, but I can feel it.
24th September 2010, back to school... same drill as always... at night, Idk why my brother suddenly go to my mum room and started crying.. talking bout sth, idk what =/, well, better not ask...
Lol, yeah I know, its like I'm writing a diary, but what the hell =)
Even if times are hard, and that no one is there for you, I fight to thrive through this challenge. Hate me? anti me? ignore me? all those shit talks behind my back? I dont care, life is just cruel to everyone, and I will not fall, I will prevail, watch me.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
left in the dark
things just repeats itself again and again... seems like u cant always get a friend to be beside u all the time.. =/, sometimes.. its best to be alone, other times... u just wish that som1 is there for u... that u can hug him/her, and say "I love you, thank you... for being there when I need you" at any rate.. it seems i'm having this problem...
Friends... where's 1 when u need them, this morning was really fucked up... everything was planned well, until some of my classmates say busy, or personal problem... thats 1. and 2, it got canceled... I hate it when a plan doesn't comes together... decide to call my other *friends*... go with them onli... *busy, working, not at kk, too shy to go with me onli *what? WHAT? scared i'll eat u??* and etc etc... so final verdict? went to watch predator alone...
movie was fine.. good, but dull and.. i feel sad.. cause no1 accompany me... haiz... whole morning lonely... luckily just now went to eat sushi..... *SSSSSUUUUSSSSSHHHHHIIIIIIII and WWWWWWAAAAAAASSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBIIIIIIIII* that just cheered me up a little, oh how i feel like screaming on the hills now till my voice is all gone....
1 thing cruel in life? is that u dont have any company.. or friends to be there when u need them... haiz... always end up pissed and emo.. but yeah, at the end of the day... i just tend to forget it...
A thought just hits me... i wonder, if i die... will i be alone? will there be any1 there for me? would i even get married... haiz... i think too much future.. although i'm still very aware of the present now, but it would be silly, not to think of the future for once.
Signing out
Gary
Friends... where's 1 when u need them, this morning was really fucked up... everything was planned well, until some of my classmates say busy, or personal problem... thats 1. and 2, it got canceled... I hate it when a plan doesn't comes together... decide to call my other *friends*... go with them onli... *busy, working, not at kk, too shy to go with me onli *what? WHAT? scared i'll eat u??* and etc etc... so final verdict? went to watch predator alone...
movie was fine.. good, but dull and.. i feel sad.. cause no1 accompany me... haiz... whole morning lonely... luckily just now went to eat sushi..... *SSSSSUUUUSSSSSHHHHHIIIIIIII and WWWWWWAAAAAAASSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBIIIIIIIII* that just cheered me up a little, oh how i feel like screaming on the hills now till my voice is all gone....
1 thing cruel in life? is that u dont have any company.. or friends to be there when u need them... haiz... always end up pissed and emo.. but yeah, at the end of the day... i just tend to forget it...
A thought just hits me... i wonder, if i die... will i be alone? will there be any1 there for me? would i even get married... haiz... i think too much future.. although i'm still very aware of the present now, but it would be silly, not to think of the future for once.
Signing out
Gary
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
why do i even bother~~
oh god god god~~~, you can woop my ass all the way to kansas *or hell, like jacky said* but PLS!! give me a dam sign already!!!
1st of all, thank GOD! I can drive around kk without my parents in it -.-".
2nd, I passed my test... *I really hope my exam will be better*
3rd, brazil is in the last 8~~~~ *what, I know still early, but STILL!!*
4th, nice songs this few days... *what*
annddd 5th and the last of all... I think I'm getting the *job* done XD
yeap... last saturday went to 1b, wanted to watch movie alone, watch what? KNIGHT AND DAY~~, funny at 1st but yeah, the movie is fake *as always...* okay, where am I... oh, and then, a friend called me, idk why at 1st, I mean, I wanna watch alone, BUT yeah, end up watching with him.. after that, went to lunch, ask him about his life, exchange gossips, talks *boys talk~* and.. his problem, girl problem~~
okay, so this is how it goes, he told me that he's in love with a girl, but the girl is 4 years older than him *age doesnt matter* AND, she got a bf *it always happens...*, so yeah, where are we looking at now? a love triangle... *hmm* told me everything about it... and I gave him some advices *which also brings me back abit to the past, but its cool*
anyhow... I asked him some simple question.
1) Is she worth your time?
2) What is she to you?
3) Is she really the 1 for you?
4) You dont mind age differences?
Then, I gave him 1 question, "can you leave everything behind just for her?" what he said? "yes" but what is there to give up?
That is what I asked myself too, what is there to give up? you have nothing, nothing at all, being emo and down doesn't solve a goddamn problem. You think life is and could be easier? Well, then you're wrong, you're DAMN wrong, life is a challenge that GOD give us, a challenge to prove that we are strong in life, and that we can show our gratitude to him with this *sort of*
When I 1st heard some1 said "2 completely different person is a perfect couple?" I was like, "bullshit" now, I take that back...
okay... so that pentagon is reduced to square *god.. still...* idk... haha, its complicated.
Idk if you're reading this... but, all I want to say.. is thank you for the 2 years, you really changed me in those years... you meant alot to me, and now... that special feeling is gone... just wish we could stay as... friends, instead of total strangers... and I'm sorry, for everything... I know sorry isn't enough, but yeah...
Signing out,
Gary
1st of all, thank GOD! I can drive around kk without my parents in it -.-".
2nd, I passed my test... *I really hope my exam will be better*
3rd, brazil is in the last 8~~~~ *what, I know still early, but STILL!!*
4th, nice songs this few days... *what*
annddd 5th and the last of all... I think I'm getting the *job* done XD
yeap... last saturday went to 1b, wanted to watch movie alone, watch what? KNIGHT AND DAY~~, funny at 1st but yeah, the movie is fake *as always...* okay, where am I... oh, and then, a friend called me, idk why at 1st, I mean, I wanna watch alone, BUT yeah, end up watching with him.. after that, went to lunch, ask him about his life, exchange gossips, talks *boys talk~* and.. his problem, girl problem~~
okay, so this is how it goes, he told me that he's in love with a girl, but the girl is 4 years older than him *age doesnt matter* AND, she got a bf *it always happens...*, so yeah, where are we looking at now? a love triangle... *hmm* told me everything about it... and I gave him some advices *which also brings me back abit to the past, but its cool*
anyhow... I asked him some simple question.
1) Is she worth your time?
2) What is she to you?
3) Is she really the 1 for you?
4) You dont mind age differences?
Then, I gave him 1 question, "can you leave everything behind just for her?" what he said? "yes" but what is there to give up?
That is what I asked myself too, what is there to give up? you have nothing, nothing at all, being emo and down doesn't solve a goddamn problem. You think life is and could be easier? Well, then you're wrong, you're DAMN wrong, life is a challenge that GOD give us, a challenge to prove that we are strong in life, and that we can show our gratitude to him with this *sort of*
When I 1st heard some1 said "2 completely different person is a perfect couple?" I was like, "bullshit" now, I take that back...
okay... so that pentagon is reduced to square *god.. still...* idk... haha, its complicated.
Idk if you're reading this... but, all I want to say.. is thank you for the 2 years, you really changed me in those years... you meant alot to me, and now... that special feeling is gone... just wish we could stay as... friends, instead of total strangers... and I'm sorry, for everything... I know sorry isn't enough, but yeah...
Signing out,
Gary
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Things just ... happens, i guess?
Wow... I dont know what is wrong with me this morning.. well 1st of all, Alfred and Ng wen fung, they were annoying me *yes... for the past 1 month* and... idk, I just popped out out of no reason, *volcano blowed off, pufff!!* funny thing is, the class went silence for like... 10 sec? and then make noise again.. *Miss jossy somehow didnt heard my scream* yeah... was it the heat that makes the limit gone off? or is it something else... hmm...
but there's other things that keep bothering me... college, friends, and love *why this?* OKAY... college... lately didnt really study alot for ITN and microeconomics.. *how am I suppose to pass...* teachers was less *incorperate* and yeah, teaching method? sorry to say, it really looks like SHIT!
Friends? well... inbalance as I can see... somehow its like... "gaining lots of new friends, and losing a handful of friends... best friends.." haiz.. I dont really like this... maybe starting a new life also means, letting go of old friends... pfft.. "THE WAY OF LIFE" my ass...
love? *what* I FEEL LIKE KNOCKING MY FREAKIN HEAD OFF THE WALL!!! there's 4, 4!!!! I MEAN, WTF!! am I going nuts? zzz, or is god giving me a choice here... *shish* look at me, I sound like a PIMP! Haiz... God help me... why I sound nervous? well... umm.... i dont know myself...
Secondhand Serenade - Your Call
Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
when you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your, what's your...)
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
x4
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)
but there's other things that keep bothering me... college, friends, and love *why this?* OKAY... college... lately didnt really study alot for ITN and microeconomics.. *how am I suppose to pass...* teachers was less *incorperate* and yeah, teaching method? sorry to say, it really looks like SHIT!
Friends? well... inbalance as I can see... somehow its like... "gaining lots of new friends, and losing a handful of friends... best friends.." haiz.. I dont really like this... maybe starting a new life also means, letting go of old friends... pfft.. "THE WAY OF LIFE" my ass...
love? *what* I FEEL LIKE KNOCKING MY FREAKIN HEAD OFF THE WALL!!! there's 4, 4!!!! I MEAN, WTF!! am I going nuts? zzz, or is god giving me a choice here... *shish* look at me, I sound like a PIMP! Haiz... God help me... why I sound nervous? well... umm.... i dont know myself...
Secondhand Serenade - Your Call
Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
when you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your, what's your...)
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
x4
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)
Thursday, May 27, 2010
living in the shadows...
I realise now... I'm not a man of my word... I say things that I would do, but at the end, I didn't.. I'm confuse, I dont know why I wont keep my word, is it that hard? and then I got an answer "You dont keep your words because you're scared and overconfident, why you're scared? because you're afraid that you would lose your friends.. thats why you made that promise without thinking, why you're overconfident? Is because you want to prove to yourself that you can keep that promise, but at the end, you didn't, dont ever do that again, you idiot!" Now I admit... I'm the big bafun in this picture.. I'm a big fool...
I've been living in the shadows for the past months.. even when I said, I found a good life now, loving it... and all the happy things I could think of... I'm not myself, why? because if I become myself, I wouldn't let go of things.. I would still live in the past then, so I have to change myself... A different me. Yet that part of me still feel guilt... and ... I dont know... I just feel like I'm in the middle of ... everything, I guess you were right then... I am the root of all the problems that happen... sometimes... I just wish to God that I can turn back time again.. and change everything... what would happen.. I may not even exist in everybody's life... Heck, I feel pathetic..
Guess this maybe the last time I write my blog *I know I say it alot of time, but now, I'm really considering*
Goodbye old me...
Hello shadow of myself.
Gary.. aka bear "forever will be yours"
I've been living in the shadows for the past months.. even when I said, I found a good life now, loving it... and all the happy things I could think of... I'm not myself, why? because if I become myself, I wouldn't let go of things.. I would still live in the past then, so I have to change myself... A different me. Yet that part of me still feel guilt... and ... I dont know... I just feel like I'm in the middle of ... everything, I guess you were right then... I am the root of all the problems that happen... sometimes... I just wish to God that I can turn back time again.. and change everything... what would happen.. I may not even exist in everybody's life... Heck, I feel pathetic..
Guess this maybe the last time I write my blog *I know I say it alot of time, but now, I'm really considering*
Goodbye old me...
Hello shadow of myself.
Gary.. aka bear "forever will be yours"
Friday, May 21, 2010
Not much to write... as usual. Those of u who wonder why I put my recent post to draft and dont wanna post it.. well... I think it was too deep, so yeah, make it simple.
OKAY... so life itself now is good.. got my P license, new friends... new life.... good good... but still, feel like something's missing... what is it, ahhh yes, that little thing that would make a guy go gaga @_@, that little thing.... means alot to me...
How long has it passed now... looking back to the past, the day I was born, the day I 1st tasted nooodddlllleeeesssss XD, 1st day I went to kindergarden... primary school *that was an embarrassment, I dont wanna remember -.-* to secondary, 1st day I know what friendship is really like... and the 1st time I fall in love.. hmm... oh great, here we go again... JIWANG!!! thank you! Jacky and Yvonne *my long lost primary school friend* for calling me that @_@, and yeah, time flies again... very fast indeed =/, 3 weeks counting down to 4 weeks now... wow... what can u do??? its college so deal with it
Kris allen - Live like we're dying *this song is like an inspiration*
Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's to late, it's not too late
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would've done
Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution,
There'll no one on the line, yeah
Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..
http://www.elyricsworld.com/live_like_we're_dying_lyrics_kris_allen.html
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
You never know a good thing till it's gone
You never see a crash till it's head on
Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it's gone
Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying..
Signing out...
Gary aka bear
OKAY... so life itself now is good.. got my P license, new friends... new life.... good good... but still, feel like something's missing... what is it, ahhh yes, that little thing that would make a guy go gaga @_@, that little thing.... means alot to me...
How long has it passed now... looking back to the past, the day I was born, the day I 1st tasted nooodddlllleeeesssss XD, 1st day I went to kindergarden... primary school *that was an embarrassment, I dont wanna remember -.-* to secondary, 1st day I know what friendship is really like... and the 1st time I fall in love.. hmm... oh great, here we go again... JIWANG!!! thank you! Jacky and Yvonne *my long lost primary school friend* for calling me that @_@, and yeah, time flies again... very fast indeed =/, 3 weeks counting down to 4 weeks now... wow... what can u do??? its college so deal with it
Kris allen - Live like we're dying *this song is like an inspiration*
Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's to late, it's not too late
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would've done
Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution,
There'll no one on the line, yeah
Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..
http://www.elyricsworld.com/live_like_we're_dying_lyrics_kris_allen.html
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
You never know a good thing till it's gone
You never see a crash till it's head on
Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it's gone
Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying..
Signing out...
Gary aka bear
Thursday, April 29, 2010
letting it out
Personal blog... personal blog... oh personal blog... LOL, I'm talking to myself again. well, nothing much again, but yeah... haiz, lately didn't talk with lots of people.... I mean like 1 on 1 talk. Hahaha... I'm being left out again *cheers*, back to the place where I came from, where I drown, with all my sorrows, and feel that the walls is closing in, sealing u inside the torment of loneliness, and at the end, no one would even notice, you exist. Yes, I admit, I'm useless, I'm a useless, stupid, ignorant, crybaby, fucked up, no good son of a bitch, idiotic bastard. I cant even tell her how I feel... I cant even open a goddam topic now! every time I see her online msn, I would like, pretend she's offline, busy and all... WHY??!!! WHY??!!!!! I FREAKING HATE MYSELF, how I wish I could change myself... everything about myself... I can't joke, my personality isn't good... I can't even make her smile... can't see her smile. her face... everything.... just catches my breath away... and here I am... runting everything... I know, I'm selfish too, I remember that, would I be like that... if not for I have really fallen in love.
To see another girl in my sight is meaningless... but to look at you, means thousands to me... I keep remembering that day... dreaming about it.... just cant... stop. I probably am embarrassing myself.... No, I am indeed, but ... no1 else read this.
To see another girl in my sight is meaningless... but to look at you, means thousands to me... I keep remembering that day... dreaming about it.... just cant... stop. I probably am embarrassing myself.... No, I am indeed, but ... no1 else read this.
What it is to live
He walked through the door a tear in his eye
He lifted his sleeve and wiped it dry
He took a deep breath and stepped into the room
He closed his eyes he saw the gloom
She was there so very quiet and still
She seemed as though she was never ill
He slowly walked closer to her
The few weeks before became a blur
He reached out for her small white hand
Held it tight but could not understand
He took his ring placed it on her chain
Took his sleeve and wiped his eyes again
He slowly sat on the small white chair
Put out his hand and touched her hair
So perfect and blonde so long and neat
Without you I am incomplete
He whispered, I love you in her ear
Although you're gone you're always here
And at that moment his hand moved from her hair
To his heart you're always there
He slowly stood up and again took her hand
Things were clear he could now understand
Even if she wasn't there with him
Inside his heart could never be dim
He placed her hand down by her side
Her imprint she left so deep inside
For the last time he softly kissed her
Still her body did not stir
He turned to walk toward the door
Then turned back to look once more
Her new small ring shone in the light
He closed the door she had lost her fight
And as surely as he said that day
In his heart she will always stay
You are more than just a friend
I Told You This Once,
Yes I'll Tell You Again.
You Mean The World To Me,
You're More Than A Friend.
No Matter What Happens,
I'll Always Be There.
Through Thick And Thin,
I'll Always Care.
I Try To Put In Words,
The Way You Make Me Feel Inside.
I'm Sorry I Can't Help The Way,
My Feelings Sometimes Hide.
My Feelings Haven't Changed,
At All From The Start.
I Love You More Then Anything,
With All Of My Heart.
I'll make you a promise,
If your promise me too.
That we'll be together forever,
And our love will stay true.
My love for you is ever lasting,
Never will it end.
Hopefully by now you've realized,
You're more than just a friend.
GOD HELP ME, I'm really crazy in poems zzz
on what occasion, should I be in, and what would I choose now. to be or not to be with... to choose... or not to choose... really confused, damn. okay, I make it short, since I'm having a head injury due to.... *dont laugh* I fall down in my toilet, head 1st on the cement. OKAY, I'm off
Signing out
Gary aka teddy bear
He walked through the door a tear in his eye
He lifted his sleeve and wiped it dry
He took a deep breath and stepped into the room
He closed his eyes he saw the gloom
She was there so very quiet and still
She seemed as though she was never ill
He slowly walked closer to her
The few weeks before became a blur
He reached out for her small white hand
Held it tight but could not understand
He took his ring placed it on her chain
Took his sleeve and wiped his eyes again
He slowly sat on the small white chair
Put out his hand and touched her hair
So perfect and blonde so long and neat
Without you I am incomplete
He whispered, I love you in her ear
Although you're gone you're always here
And at that moment his hand moved from her hair
To his heart you're always there
He slowly stood up and again took her hand
Things were clear he could now understand
Even if she wasn't there with him
Inside his heart could never be dim
He placed her hand down by her side
Her imprint she left so deep inside
For the last time he softly kissed her
Still her body did not stir
He turned to walk toward the door
Then turned back to look once more
Her new small ring shone in the light
He closed the door she had lost her fight
And as surely as he said that day
In his heart she will always stay
You are more than just a friend
I Told You This Once,
Yes I'll Tell You Again.
You Mean The World To Me,
You're More Than A Friend.
No Matter What Happens,
I'll Always Be There.
Through Thick And Thin,
I'll Always Care.
I Try To Put In Words,
The Way You Make Me Feel Inside.
I'm Sorry I Can't Help The Way,
My Feelings Sometimes Hide.
My Feelings Haven't Changed,
At All From The Start.
I Love You More Then Anything,
With All Of My Heart.
I'll make you a promise,
If your promise me too.
That we'll be together forever,
And our love will stay true.
My love for you is ever lasting,
Never will it end.
Hopefully by now you've realized,
You're more than just a friend.
GOD HELP ME, I'm really crazy in poems zzz
on what occasion, should I be in, and what would I choose now. to be or not to be with... to choose... or not to choose... really confused, damn. okay, I make it short, since I'm having a head injury due to.... *dont laugh* I fall down in my toilet, head 1st on the cement. OKAY, I'm off
Signing out
Gary aka teddy bear
Monday, April 26, 2010
Poemetic
Loneliness
Smile my heart smile.
You will see loneliness
Nowhere.
***
Do not blame Heaven
And do not blame earth
For your loneliness.
You are travelling the ways of loneliness
Because your mind has not tried to conquer
The darkness of frustration-frown.
***
A doubting mind
Is forced to live
In the prison of loneliness.
***
When our self-offering
Comes to the fore,
Loneliness
Is bound to disappear.
***
My world-oneness-heart
Is a perfect stranger
To loneliness.
***
another poem.
My Heart Aches
My heart aches when I talk to you
My heart aches when I don’t hear from you
My heart aches when I long for you
I don’t know why
You’ve taken over my thoughts
I can’t explain
You’re still a stranger
Far away
I want you close by
I miss your embrace
Holding you close
My heart aches
I miss you!
Poems poems poems.... Idk why I'm beginning to love poems, maybe its just to fill up the time that I have, to save me from utter boringness. HAHA!! look at me, poetic, yeah rrriiiggghhhttttt. And yeah, I just write all these from the bottom of my heart, wow, jiwang guy *emo guy*. thats what Jacky said to me, *JIWANG*! Funny, yesterday Peterich ask me to help him on dating tip. *wtf? I never dated, I never had a GF, why he ask me?* well, I end up giving him some advice... *although I'm really bad with it, but yeah.* tell him what to and not to do, all those basics dating tips, simple, but effective, yeah... all those talks with him reminds me of the past, the mistakes I made, and the actions I would do, but have no guts to do it... HAIX... well no point on regretting the past now... I still do, but ... yeah, ANOTHER POEM!!!
I miss you because...
I miss you because once you were here in my life, and now you're not.
I miss you because I know that I'm going to be okay without you, even if I forgot.
I miss you when something good happens to me, because I can no longer share it with you.
I miss you because you were the biggest part of my life, that much I know is true.
You were my angel, always protecting me from those who could do me wrong.
Since you, my friend, are no longer here how am I supposed to go on?
Signing out,
Gary aka teddy bear * will always be ... yours *
Smile my heart smile.
You will see loneliness
Nowhere.
***
Do not blame Heaven
And do not blame earth
For your loneliness.
You are travelling the ways of loneliness
Because your mind has not tried to conquer
The darkness of frustration-frown.
***
A doubting mind
Is forced to live
In the prison of loneliness.
***
When our self-offering
Comes to the fore,
Loneliness
Is bound to disappear.
***
My world-oneness-heart
Is a perfect stranger
To loneliness.
***
another poem.
My Heart Aches
My heart aches when I talk to you
My heart aches when I don’t hear from you
My heart aches when I long for you
I don’t know why
You’ve taken over my thoughts
I can’t explain
You’re still a stranger
Far away
I want you close by
I miss your embrace
Holding you close
My heart aches
I miss you!
Poems poems poems.... Idk why I'm beginning to love poems, maybe its just to fill up the time that I have, to save me from utter boringness. HAHA!! look at me, poetic, yeah rrriiiggghhhttttt. And yeah, I just write all these from the bottom of my heart, wow, jiwang guy *emo guy*. thats what Jacky said to me, *JIWANG*! Funny, yesterday Peterich ask me to help him on dating tip. *wtf? I never dated, I never had a GF, why he ask me?* well, I end up giving him some advice... *although I'm really bad with it, but yeah.* tell him what to and not to do, all those basics dating tips, simple, but effective, yeah... all those talks with him reminds me of the past, the mistakes I made, and the actions I would do, but have no guts to do it... HAIX... well no point on regretting the past now... I still do, but ... yeah, ANOTHER POEM!!!
I miss you because...
I miss you because once you were here in my life, and now you're not.
I miss you because I know that I'm going to be okay without you, even if I forgot.
I miss you when something good happens to me, because I can no longer share it with you.
I miss you because you were the biggest part of my life, that much I know is true.
You were my angel, always protecting me from those who could do me wrong.
Since you, my friend, are no longer here how am I supposed to go on?
Signing out,
Gary aka teddy bear * will always be ... yours *
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I do not love you except because I love you
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.
Maybe, definitely...
Well, now its lunch time.. and I'm enjoying my cup of noodle... although I dont really like it that much, what to write 2day... ahh yes...
Sth is really wrong inside me... Idk what the hell is it, but I somehow can feel it... bad omen ahead... They say when your legs hurt, that would be a bad sign *old man stories*, but yeah... idk... yesterday I couldn't sleep, my leg hurt so badly its like... some1 slicing and pulling your legs off slowly... torturing u.. I cant give the real picture... urgh.. idk how long did I scream that night, awake on my bed, begging to God, "Pls... release me from my pain... just kill me already!!" after awhile... point blank, everything gone dark... I thought that I'm gone from this world... walls begin to close in on me, total darkness takes over, and silence is the only thing that u will hear. But yet.. here I am still alive. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but if u were in my shoes, u would think twice about it.
nothing much to write right? ... well a song then
Kelly Clarkson - My life would suck without you
Guess this means you’re sorry
You’re standing at my door
Guess this means you take back
What you said before
Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you’d never come back
But here you are again
Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you
Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin’ to pick a fight
I know that I’ve got issues
But you’re pretty messed up too
Anyway, I found out I’m nothing without you
Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you
Being with you is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn’t miss you, but I can’t let go
Oh yeah
Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you
Signing out,
Gary aka teddy bear
Sth is really wrong inside me... Idk what the hell is it, but I somehow can feel it... bad omen ahead... They say when your legs hurt, that would be a bad sign *old man stories*, but yeah... idk... yesterday I couldn't sleep, my leg hurt so badly its like... some1 slicing and pulling your legs off slowly... torturing u.. I cant give the real picture... urgh.. idk how long did I scream that night, awake on my bed, begging to God, "Pls... release me from my pain... just kill me already!!" after awhile... point blank, everything gone dark... I thought that I'm gone from this world... walls begin to close in on me, total darkness takes over, and silence is the only thing that u will hear. But yet.. here I am still alive. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but if u were in my shoes, u would think twice about it.
nothing much to write right? ... well a song then
Kelly Clarkson - My life would suck without you
Guess this means you’re sorry
You’re standing at my door
Guess this means you take back
What you said before
Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you’d never come back
But here you are again
Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you
Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin’ to pick a fight
I know that I’ve got issues
But you’re pretty messed up too
Anyway, I found out I’m nothing without you
Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you
Being with you is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn’t miss you, but I can’t let go
Oh yeah
Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you
Signing out,
Gary aka teddy bear
Friday, April 16, 2010
Office time
Wow, office hour is really a drag sometimes, and yeah, it maybe hard, but sometimes, I just got nth to do in the office zzz.
Tuesday was boys day out *instead of boys night out*, went out with Adrian, Ferik and Tay. It all went well, and yeah, I'm good with ferik alreadi, I have no issues with him, but I also dk why I ignored my best friend from the beginning... yeah. The best news I heard so far... Adrian and Ferik are back together as friends, haha! to some it may not mean something, but best friends together again? thats something good. Here's the funny part, when they all went to my house *NO GAY BUSINESS, SO PLS, dont even think about it* we ate, talk, and they took bath, after that we went to 1b enjoy lo, when I come back, Ferik called me and stated he left his clothes in my brother's bathroom??!! WTF!! clothes with underwear again that?! if girl, nvm la... *sei ham sap lou le me zzz* XD if guys, omg thats so wrong zzz...
Omg, what is wrong with me, am I doing the right thing... or the wrong thing, idk, idk what I'm doing... I feel really confused at some stuffs... its like the walls are closing on me again, stuffing me in with nothing in it... I've been very lonely from the day I was born, to the day of Form 3. lonely for 15 years... wow, *wat I mean by lonely is the emptiness inside of me* well, now its a little different, but still... haiz..
Signing off,
Gary
Tuesday was boys day out *instead of boys night out*, went out with Adrian, Ferik and Tay. It all went well, and yeah, I'm good with ferik alreadi, I have no issues with him, but I also dk why I ignored my best friend from the beginning... yeah. The best news I heard so far... Adrian and Ferik are back together as friends, haha! to some it may not mean something, but best friends together again? thats something good. Here's the funny part, when they all went to my house *NO GAY BUSINESS, SO PLS, dont even think about it* we ate, talk, and they took bath, after that we went to 1b enjoy lo, when I come back, Ferik called me and stated he left his clothes in my brother's bathroom??!! WTF!! clothes with underwear again that?! if girl, nvm la... *sei ham sap lou le me zzz* XD if guys, omg thats so wrong zzz...
Omg, what is wrong with me, am I doing the right thing... or the wrong thing, idk, idk what I'm doing... I feel really confused at some stuffs... its like the walls are closing on me again, stuffing me in with nothing in it... I've been very lonely from the day I was born, to the day of Form 3. lonely for 15 years... wow, *wat I mean by lonely is the emptiness inside of me* well, now its a little different, but still... haiz..
Signing off,
Gary
Friday, April 9, 2010
LOL
Don't really have much to write... cause it's totally, freaking, boring these days -.-".
Anyway... I made all the training on my driving lesson alreadi, now awaiting for qtp test *or so its spell like this.* Then, I can go for JPJ test lu. If I pass, have to wait for 1 month, then get the P license -.-" dam.... close to May already, suprising how time flies without knowing it, and here I thought school life is crap, life in the office and home, its just dam boring. Haiz... I'm losing friends, just like Jacky said... "friends come and go", okay, everyone knows that -.-" slowly, they'll just, flow away, like the wind, flowing around u always, but it will be gone, and even u feel the wind blowing towards u again, its not the same.
Just when I came back from sandakan, I feel that things have changed, not the structure or surroundings... but that feeling, the flow, it's gone. Empty. I just can't explain how I feel... Urgh, how useless am I... Everytime I wake up, my chest feels heavy. If life was so simple... I would do anything, but you and I know that life is not simple at all, unless, we work hard for it. Yeah, and, when my cousins, nephew, niece, aunty, uncle, all of them la, ask me *You got gf or not? dont lie to me ah, I know u have 1 de* I give them 1 simple answer, *wait till 20 years 1st, then I tell u*. which... I plan to be single, haha, I actually never dated, never had a gf, but I felt 1st love and now. It's gone. Hmm.. my options are still open, but... see la, go with the flow, Maybe I'll stay single for life lu~ haha
Peace out and Signing off.
Gary
Anyway... I made all the training on my driving lesson alreadi, now awaiting for qtp test *or so its spell like this.* Then, I can go for JPJ test lu. If I pass, have to wait for 1 month, then get the P license -.-" dam.... close to May already, suprising how time flies without knowing it, and here I thought school life is crap, life in the office and home, its just dam boring. Haiz... I'm losing friends, just like Jacky said... "friends come and go", okay, everyone knows that -.-" slowly, they'll just, flow away, like the wind, flowing around u always, but it will be gone, and even u feel the wind blowing towards u again, its not the same.
Just when I came back from sandakan, I feel that things have changed, not the structure or surroundings... but that feeling, the flow, it's gone. Empty. I just can't explain how I feel... Urgh, how useless am I... Everytime I wake up, my chest feels heavy. If life was so simple... I would do anything, but you and I know that life is not simple at all, unless, we work hard for it. Yeah, and, when my cousins, nephew, niece, aunty, uncle, all of them la, ask me *You got gf or not? dont lie to me ah, I know u have 1 de* I give them 1 simple answer, *wait till 20 years 1st, then I tell u*. which... I plan to be single, haha, I actually never dated, never had a gf, but I felt 1st love and now. It's gone. Hmm.. my options are still open, but... see la, go with the flow, Maybe I'll stay single for life lu~ haha
Peace out and Signing off.
Gary
Friday, March 12, 2010
Chris daughtry - Call your name
You never said, you never said, you never said
That it would be this hard
Love was meant to be forever, now or never
Seems too discard
There's gotta be a better way for me to say
What's on my heart without leaving scars
So can you remain
When I call your name
And when you fall apart
Am I the reason for your endless sorrow
There's so much to be said
And with a broken heart
Your walls can only go down
But solo can you hear me
When I call your name
When I call your name
Caught again and situations are the makings of
All that's wrong
And I've been standin' in the river of deliverin'
Just way too long
There's gotta be a better way for me to say
What's on my heart without leaving scars
So can you hear me
When I call your name
So can you hear me
When I call your name
And when you fall apart
Am I the reason for your endless sorrow
There's so much to be said
And with a broken heart
Your walls can only go down
But solo can you hear me
When I call your name
You never said, you never said, you never said, you never said
When I call your name
You never said, you never said, you never said, you never said
When I call your name
Yeah
And when you fall apart
Am I the reason for your endless sorrow
There's so much to be said
And with a broken heart
Your walls can only go down
But solo can you hear me
When I call your name
And when you fall apart
Am I the reason for your endless sorrow
There's so much to be said
And with a broken heart
Your walls can only go down
But solo can you hear me
When I call your name
Oh, how badly I feel like screaming on the top of the mountain till my last breath and lung dying....
Last night drink the bottle of vodka till I passed out already... funny thing is that the next morning, my mum saw me half naked on the floor near my computer -.-".... the horror of getting drunk.... at 1st it was like burning from the inside, throat burning, feeling of getting high, and... suprisingly after u get used to it, it taste like vanilla =3 so good.... idk why I drink so much last night... is it because the feeling of guilt, or the damnation of getting left out... I'm not suprised at all... well, they would say "we care for u"... I dont even know is that the truth or not... but my heart keeps telling me *no one cares for u, no one even know u exist, in fact, they dont even wan u to be born* I guess it's right...
Heartless souls keep dwelling in my ears gushing out words of betrayal, lies, deceive... and that it is best I had never exist... yeah... if I never had exist... wouldn't things go even better? I've been toyed by my past. yet I hold on, when no1 is there to care for me, I stand firm and stay positive... and when my heart had been broken badly, that was my last resort, I had broke down, yet I rise up again believing that I can fight on.... but now... Idk, I feel lost inside now....
Signing out...
Gary
You never said, you never said, you never said
That it would be this hard
Love was meant to be forever, now or never
Seems too discard
There's gotta be a better way for me to say
What's on my heart without leaving scars
So can you remain
When I call your name
And when you fall apart
Am I the reason for your endless sorrow
There's so much to be said
And with a broken heart
Your walls can only go down
But solo can you hear me
When I call your name
When I call your name
Caught again and situations are the makings of
All that's wrong
And I've been standin' in the river of deliverin'
Just way too long
There's gotta be a better way for me to say
What's on my heart without leaving scars
So can you hear me
When I call your name
So can you hear me
When I call your name
And when you fall apart
Am I the reason for your endless sorrow
There's so much to be said
And with a broken heart
Your walls can only go down
But solo can you hear me
When I call your name
You never said, you never said, you never said, you never said
When I call your name
You never said, you never said, you never said, you never said
When I call your name
Yeah
And when you fall apart
Am I the reason for your endless sorrow
There's so much to be said
And with a broken heart
Your walls can only go down
But solo can you hear me
When I call your name
And when you fall apart
Am I the reason for your endless sorrow
There's so much to be said
And with a broken heart
Your walls can only go down
But solo can you hear me
When I call your name
Oh, how badly I feel like screaming on the top of the mountain till my last breath and lung dying....
Last night drink the bottle of vodka till I passed out already... funny thing is that the next morning, my mum saw me half naked on the floor near my computer -.-".... the horror of getting drunk.... at 1st it was like burning from the inside, throat burning, feeling of getting high, and... suprisingly after u get used to it, it taste like vanilla =3 so good.... idk why I drink so much last night... is it because the feeling of guilt, or the damnation of getting left out... I'm not suprised at all... well, they would say "we care for u"... I dont even know is that the truth or not... but my heart keeps telling me *no one cares for u, no one even know u exist, in fact, they dont even wan u to be born* I guess it's right...
Heartless souls keep dwelling in my ears gushing out words of betrayal, lies, deceive... and that it is best I had never exist... yeah... if I never had exist... wouldn't things go even better? I've been toyed by my past. yet I hold on, when no1 is there to care for me, I stand firm and stay positive... and when my heart had been broken badly, that was my last resort, I had broke down, yet I rise up again believing that I can fight on.... but now... Idk, I feel lost inside now....
Signing out...
Gary
Thursday, February 25, 2010
4tune - Last Goodbye
I can't explain, what i feel inside
No sun, just rain i loved you all my Life
All i want is just to hold you close to me
and feel your touch oh i miss you so much.
I never got to say the words:"I Love You"
I never got to show how much i care,
would you tell me why - you're not by my side?
As i break down and cry,
Cuz i didn't get my Last Goodbye.
I'm all alone i've got no Way to turn,
Have you ever lost somebody
Have you ever felt the pain i feel in my heart,
tearing me apart.
And i don't know a thousand miles in the past,
and it won't be the last so why
you take this Love away?
I never got to say the words:"I Love You"
I never got to show how much i care,
would you tell me why - you're not by my side?
As i break down and cry,
Cuz i didn't get my Last Goodbye.
I can't live without you in my Life,
Don't wanna be a Part of Hook,
i just can't cook with sacrifice,
Cuz every night i close my eyes,
i dream about you in my Life.
It hurts me Baby cuz i didn't get my Last Goodbye.
nice song..
I can't explain, what i feel inside
No sun, just rain i loved you all my Life
All i want is just to hold you close to me
and feel your touch oh i miss you so much.
I never got to say the words:"I Love You"
I never got to show how much i care,
would you tell me why - you're not by my side?
As i break down and cry,
Cuz i didn't get my Last Goodbye.
I'm all alone i've got no Way to turn,
Have you ever lost somebody
Have you ever felt the pain i feel in my heart,
tearing me apart.
And i don't know a thousand miles in the past,
and it won't be the last so why
you take this Love away?
I never got to say the words:"I Love You"
I never got to show how much i care,
would you tell me why - you're not by my side?
As i break down and cry,
Cuz i didn't get my Last Goodbye.
I can't live without you in my Life,
Don't wanna be a Part of Hook,
i just can't cook with sacrifice,
Cuz every night i close my eyes,
i dream about you in my Life.
It hurts me Baby cuz i didn't get my Last Goodbye.
nice song..
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
4tune- Miss you *this song is nice ...*
Miss you
When I close my eyes,
That's when you're near...
I kiss you,
But I know that I'm dreamin'
Girl, it's unfair
And I can't help but cry every night,
When I'm weak & you're not by my side
Girl I just wanna hold you, in my arms
Think of you each day now we're apart
And I just want things back the way they were
Find a way back to your heart
Without you,
I don't feel the same
Since you went away...
I need you
And I just want you back,
Here with me
And I can't help but cry every night,
When I'm weak & you're not by my side
And I just wanna hold you, in my arms
Think of you each day now we're apart
And I just want things back the way they were
Find a way back to your heart.
And I just wanna hold you in my arms
Think of you each day now we're apart
And I just want things back the way they were
Find a way back to your heart...
I miss you...
Well, I enjoyed my nz trip... it was worth it, but haven't had the chance to try bungee jump, cause lots of people, duh. It was cool and a nice place to stay... especially queensland, I plan to retire there next time *haven't get a job alreadi think of retiring* XD... well, Idk wat happen in 1 week time, ask them, they dont know~~ forgot -.-.. and yeah, my relationship with ferik *AS A FRIEND, NOT GAY GAY STUFF* is ruined,I think, how am I suppose to fix it? idk, no idea.... dam.. when I saw that mountain at NZ, I remember some part from the past... and start screaming like hell, people also think I've gone crazy, but it's cool... chill..... moments l8r I look at a girl, looks like some1 I know la.. *_* but, nop, that girl leng lui la, too bad she's older than me, DAYEM LOL *stupid, what am I thinking* anyway... I wont get any girls than.... , I made a promise on myself.... just..... arrgghh, you know la zzz
Signing off,
Gary aka teddy bear
Miss you
When I close my eyes,
That's when you're near...
I kiss you,
But I know that I'm dreamin'
Girl, it's unfair
And I can't help but cry every night,
When I'm weak & you're not by my side
Girl I just wanna hold you, in my arms
Think of you each day now we're apart
And I just want things back the way they were
Find a way back to your heart
Without you,
I don't feel the same
Since you went away...
I need you
And I just want you back,
Here with me
And I can't help but cry every night,
When I'm weak & you're not by my side
And I just wanna hold you, in my arms
Think of you each day now we're apart
And I just want things back the way they were
Find a way back to your heart.
And I just wanna hold you in my arms
Think of you each day now we're apart
And I just want things back the way they were
Find a way back to your heart...
I miss you...
Well, I enjoyed my nz trip... it was worth it, but haven't had the chance to try bungee jump, cause lots of people, duh. It was cool and a nice place to stay... especially queensland, I plan to retire there next time *haven't get a job alreadi think of retiring* XD... well, Idk wat happen in 1 week time, ask them, they dont know~~ forgot -.-.. and yeah, my relationship with ferik *AS A FRIEND, NOT GAY GAY STUFF* is ruined,I think, how am I suppose to fix it? idk, no idea.... dam.. when I saw that mountain at NZ, I remember some part from the past... and start screaming like hell, people also think I've gone crazy, but it's cool... chill..... moments l8r I look at a girl, looks like some1 I know la.. *_* but, nop, that girl leng lui la, too bad she's older than me, DAYEM LOL *stupid, what am I thinking* anyway... I wont get any girls than.... , I made a promise on myself.... just..... arrgghh, you know la zzz
Signing off,
Gary aka teddy bear
Friday, February 12, 2010
Creed - 6 feet from the edge
Please come love
I think I'm falling
Holding on to all I think is safe
It seems I've found the road to no where
And i'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say...
CHORUS
Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down
I'm lookin down
Now that its over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out
Heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say
Let me say..
(CHORUS)
Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down
(repeat)
I'm so far down
Sad eyes follow me
Well I still believe there's something there for me
So please come stay with me
Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me...
you an me...you and me
Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down....
(repeat)
Please come now
I think I'm falling
Holding on to all I think is safe...
well... blog again, hehe.. not much to write here.. always working... yesterday was a day off lol, ^^, hang out with nasrul awhile, went to eat chicken rice, cut hair, and the go to my house lo *now those of u who's thinking other things, DONT*. well, I want that Torclight *a game* so I ask him to give it to me lo~~ actualy he got a date with L, so need my lil help lo~~ and then when my parents came down... they thought I bring back a girl?! WTF?! yeap, my mum thought it was u... sooo... XD hehe.. I look at their eyes, they're like stunned seeing a malay boy in the house~~ XD
thats about it... will fill in more when I get back from New Zealand..
HERE I COME!!! XD
Signing off,
Gary aka teddy bear
(P.S, no matter where I or u go, I'll always be thinking of u)
Please come love
I think I'm falling
Holding on to all I think is safe
It seems I've found the road to no where
And i'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say...
CHORUS
Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down
I'm lookin down
Now that its over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out
Heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say
Let me say..
(CHORUS)
Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down
(repeat)
I'm so far down
Sad eyes follow me
Well I still believe there's something there for me
So please come stay with me
Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me...
you an me...you and me
Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down....
(repeat)
Please come now
I think I'm falling
Holding on to all I think is safe...
well... blog again, hehe.. not much to write here.. always working... yesterday was a day off lol, ^^, hang out with nasrul awhile, went to eat chicken rice, cut hair, and the go to my house lo *now those of u who's thinking other things, DONT*. well, I want that Torclight *a game* so I ask him to give it to me lo~~ actualy he got a date with L, so need my lil help lo~~ and then when my parents came down... they thought I bring back a girl?! WTF?! yeap, my mum thought it was u... sooo... XD hehe.. I look at their eyes, they're like stunned seeing a malay boy in the house~~ XD
thats about it... will fill in more when I get back from New Zealand..
HERE I COME!!! XD
Signing off,
Gary aka teddy bear
(P.S, no matter where I or u go, I'll always be thinking of u)
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Backstreet boys - I promise you
It's in the silences,
the words you never say
I see it in your eyes,
it always starts the same way
It seems like everyone we know,
is breaking up
Does anybody ever stay in love, anymore?
I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again
With everything I am
ooh I see you look at me,
when you think I'm not aware
You're searching for clues,
of just how deep my feelings are.
How do you prove the sky is blue, the oceans wide?
All I know is how I feel,
when I look into your eyes
I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again
With everything that I am ooh yeah
Oh there are no guarantees
That's what you always say to me
But late at night I feel the tremble in your touch
Oh what I'm trying to say to you,
I never said to anyone I Promise
I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
(I do my darling I promise you)
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again
With everything I am I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
( I love you I love you I love you I love you)
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again
With everything I am
You're everything I am oh yeah
With everything I am
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Forget it
Well... 2 of my friends just quit blogging... 1 say she doesn't want to write about her personal life anymore... and the other 1 says change to tumblr... Idk why am I still writing this here... but its the only place I can let it all out... seems like everything is still the same... but over the past weeks, lots of thinking... I think I dont wanna care about it anymore, I just keep the flow going.... driving inovations... keep running, running, and running all the way till I die. It just sucks to keep 1 thing to your head like forever...
The Rasmus - In the shadow
No sleep
No sleep until I'm done with finding the answer
Won't stop
Won't stop before I find a cure for this cancer
Sometimes
I feel like going down and so disconnected
Somehow
I know that I am haunted to be wanted
I've been watching
I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching
I've been living
For tomorrows all my life
In the shadows
They say
That I must learn to kill before I can feel safe
But I
I'd rather kill myself than turn into their slave
Sometimes
I feel that I should go and play with the thunder
Somehow
Cause somehow I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder
I've been watching
I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching
I've been living
For tomorrows all my life
Lately I been walking walking in circles, watching, waiting for something
Feel me, touch me, heal me, come take me higher
I've been watching
I've been waiting
In the shadows all my time
I've been searching
I've been living
For tomorrows all my life
I've been watching
I've been waiting
I've been searching
I've been living
For tomorrows
In the shadows
I've been waiting
THIS SONG SAYS IT ALL, PEACE!
Gary aka teddy bear
The Rasmus - In the shadow
No sleep
No sleep until I'm done with finding the answer
Won't stop
Won't stop before I find a cure for this cancer
Sometimes
I feel like going down and so disconnected
Somehow
I know that I am haunted to be wanted
I've been watching
I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching
I've been living
For tomorrows all my life
In the shadows
They say
That I must learn to kill before I can feel safe
But I
I'd rather kill myself than turn into their slave
Sometimes
I feel that I should go and play with the thunder
Somehow
Cause somehow I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder
I've been watching
I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching
I've been living
For tomorrows all my life
Lately I been walking walking in circles, watching, waiting for something
Feel me, touch me, heal me, come take me higher
I've been watching
I've been waiting
In the shadows all my time
I've been searching
I've been living
For tomorrows all my life
I've been watching
I've been waiting
I've been searching
I've been living
For tomorrows
In the shadows
I've been waiting
THIS SONG SAYS IT ALL, PEACE!
Gary aka teddy bear
Monday, January 25, 2010
BSB - What makes you different
You don't run with the crowd
You go your own way
You don't play after dark
You light up my day
Got your own kind of style
That sets you apart
Baby, that's why you captured my heart
I know sometimes you feel like you don't fit in
And this world doesn't know what you have within
When I look at you, I see something rare
A rose that can grow anywhere (grow anywhere)
And there's no one I know that can compare
What makes you different, (alright) makes you beautiful (alright)
What's there inside you, (alright) shines through to me
In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need
You're all I need, oh girl
What makes you different, makes you beautiful to me
Hey, yeah yeah yeah
You got something so real
You touched me so deep (touched me so deep)
You see material things
Don't matter to me
So come as you are
You've got nothing to prove
You've won me with all that you do
And I wanna take this chance to say to you
What makes you different, (alright, yeah yeah) makes you beautiful (alright)
What's there inside you, (alright) shines through to me
In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need
You're all I need, oh girl
What makes you different, makes you beautiful
You don't know (you don't know) how you touched my life (touched my life)
Oh in so many ways (so many ways) I just can't describe
You taught me what love is supposed to be
It's all the little things that make you beautiful to me (so beautiful)
Oh yeah, yeah
What makes you,
What makes you different, (what makes) makes you beautiful (to me)
What's there inside you, (there shines) shines through to me
In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need
You're all I need, oh girl
What makes you different, makes you beautiful to me
Everything you do is beautiful (so beautiful)
Love you give shines right through me (shines right through to me)
Everything you do is beautiful (ooh, ooh ooh ooh oh)
Oh, you're beautiful to me (to me)...
This song says it...(just posting a lyrics, I know, I'm being lifeless)
Signing off,
Gary aka teddy bear, XD
You don't run with the crowd
You go your own way
You don't play after dark
You light up my day
Got your own kind of style
That sets you apart
Baby, that's why you captured my heart
I know sometimes you feel like you don't fit in
And this world doesn't know what you have within
When I look at you, I see something rare
A rose that can grow anywhere (grow anywhere)
And there's no one I know that can compare
What makes you different, (alright) makes you beautiful (alright)
What's there inside you, (alright) shines through to me
In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need
You're all I need, oh girl
What makes you different, makes you beautiful to me
Hey, yeah yeah yeah
You got something so real
You touched me so deep (touched me so deep)
You see material things
Don't matter to me
So come as you are
You've got nothing to prove
You've won me with all that you do
And I wanna take this chance to say to you
What makes you different, (alright, yeah yeah) makes you beautiful (alright)
What's there inside you, (alright) shines through to me
In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need
You're all I need, oh girl
What makes you different, makes you beautiful
You don't know (you don't know) how you touched my life (touched my life)
Oh in so many ways (so many ways) I just can't describe
You taught me what love is supposed to be
It's all the little things that make you beautiful to me (so beautiful)
Oh yeah, yeah
What makes you,
What makes you different, (what makes) makes you beautiful (to me)
What's there inside you, (there shines) shines through to me
In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need
You're all I need, oh girl
What makes you different, makes you beautiful to me
Everything you do is beautiful (so beautiful)
Love you give shines right through me (shines right through to me)
Everything you do is beautiful (ooh, ooh ooh ooh oh)
Oh, you're beautiful to me (to me)...
This song says it...(just posting a lyrics, I know, I'm being lifeless)
Signing off,
Gary aka teddy bear, XD
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Weird dreams...
Chris Daughtry - Life after you
Ten miles from town and I just broke down
Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know
Believe me I won't stop at nothin'
To see you so I've started runnin'
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wastin' my time
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind
So I'm runnin' back to tell you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
Without you God knows what I'd do, yeah
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' 'bout all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through, yeah
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you, yeah
Damn... same dream occurs to me last night... I dont even dare to sleep tonight.... wat dream? the same dream, of course, but there's 2 more I dreamt of ... 1 is I was on a wedding, Idk whose wedding, image was so blur... and everything I hear was sonic wave... I was on some kind of church *the cross sign was clear* ... then skipped the other part... I saw 6 bodies on the ground... blood on my hand, carrying a knife and a gun... I dont know who are those lying on the ground... then I see my own hand move, pointing the gun to my head, I tried to stop it and ... that made me woke up T.T.... wtf.... what kind of dream is that idk...
Signing off
Gary aka teddy bear *still*
Ten miles from town and I just broke down
Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know
Believe me I won't stop at nothin'
To see you so I've started runnin'
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wastin' my time
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind
So I'm runnin' back to tell you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
Without you God knows what I'd do, yeah
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' 'bout all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through, yeah
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you, yeah
Damn... same dream occurs to me last night... I dont even dare to sleep tonight.... wat dream? the same dream, of course, but there's 2 more I dreamt of ... 1 is I was on a wedding, Idk whose wedding, image was so blur... and everything I hear was sonic wave... I was on some kind of church *the cross sign was clear* ... then skipped the other part... I saw 6 bodies on the ground... blood on my hand, carrying a knife and a gun... I dont know who are those lying on the ground... then I see my own hand move, pointing the gun to my head, I tried to stop it and ... that made me woke up T.T.... wtf.... what kind of dream is that idk...
Signing off
Gary aka teddy bear *still*
Friday, January 22, 2010
Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy
[chorus]
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me
[end chorus]
I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares
I'm my own worst enemy
[chorus]
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me
[end chorus]
[bridge]
Goddddddd!!!!
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my
Put me out of my fucking misery
[end bridge]
[chorus]
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me
[end chorus]
this song made me cool down abit, WHEW... lol, I guess too much pressure on work... fillin delivery orders... making cash bills, carrying box, so on, so on, dont really know what to write... hmmm....
Here's yak, and it miss u XD
Signing off,
Gary
Friday, January 15, 2010
Endless pain
BSB - Helpless when she smiles..
She keeps the secrets in her eyes
She wraps the truth inside her lies
And just when I can't take what she's done to me
She comes to me
And leads me back to paradise
She's so hard to hold
But I can't let go
I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She dances away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles (oh when she smiles.. she smiles..)
Maybe I'd fight it if I could (Maybe I'd fight it if I could)
It hurts so bad, but feels so good
She opens up just like a rose to me
When she's close to me
Anything she asked me to, I would
It's out of control
But I can't let go
I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She dances away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles (oh no.. when she smiles..)
When she looks at me (When she looks at me)
I get so weak
I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She dances away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles (oh when she smiles... when she smiles.. she smiles.....)
I dont know what to do anymore.. It really pains me, everytime I went to bed, I dont feel calm or comfy... its like sleeping on a bed full of spikes... I'm getting awry and crazy everytime now... can't think straight... fight with parents for no reason and all.. idk... I feel weak.. I wish I could have just gone to my eternal slumber that day.... why didn't I do it? ... why... god... I dont know... it kills me inside... i want it to end... how...
She keeps the secrets in her eyes
She wraps the truth inside her lies
And just when I can't take what she's done to me
She comes to me
And leads me back to paradise
She's so hard to hold
But I can't let go
I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She dances away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles (oh when she smiles.. she smiles..)
Maybe I'd fight it if I could (Maybe I'd fight it if I could)
It hurts so bad, but feels so good
She opens up just like a rose to me
When she's close to me
Anything she asked me to, I would
It's out of control
But I can't let go
I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She dances away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles (oh no.. when she smiles..)
When she looks at me (When she looks at me)
I get so weak
I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She dances away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles (oh when she smiles... when she smiles.. she smiles.....)
I dont know what to do anymore.. It really pains me, everytime I went to bed, I dont feel calm or comfy... its like sleeping on a bed full of spikes... I'm getting awry and crazy everytime now... can't think straight... fight with parents for no reason and all.. idk... I feel weak.. I wish I could have just gone to my eternal slumber that day.... why didn't I do it? ... why... god... I dont know... it kills me inside... i want it to end... how...
It's been awhile since I write this blog... lolz, reason? lazy and tired because I work from morning, who doesn't get tired from that -.-... technicilly I got nothing to write, let's see... 14th february go nz travel... 26th feb go for paintball... and maybe mid march to climb mount kinabalu *DAYEM* those 2 plans are not mine, their jacky's~~~ .... god, I feel so lifeless now .... I miss school, miss everything except the teachers and the studies... no, no, NO, I dont miss pengetua except I miss critising his bird nest *his head* XD. well wth, I may as well go kl by mid year... or stay here, I'm still considering... its not that I dont want to go kl to continue my studies... just, sth is holding me back.... Idk what it is.... and it seems like I haven't found the answer I've been looking for... but I'll try to find it again...
Jet - Shine on
Please don't cry
You know I'm leaving here tonight
Before I go I want you to know that there will always be a light
And if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
So many times I'd planned
To be much more than who I am
And if I let you down I will follow you 'round until you understand
That if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
When the days all seem the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone
So please don't cry
Although I leave you here this night
Where ever I may go how far I don't know
But I will always be your light
That if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
When the days all seem the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone
When the days all seem the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone
Signing off,
Gary
Jet - Shine on
Please don't cry
You know I'm leaving here tonight
Before I go I want you to know that there will always be a light
And if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
So many times I'd planned
To be much more than who I am
And if I let you down I will follow you 'round until you understand
That if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
When the days all seem the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone
So please don't cry
Although I leave you here this night
Where ever I may go how far I don't know
But I will always be your light
That if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
When the days all seem the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone
When the days all seem the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone
Signing off,
Gary
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Jesse Mccartney - Just so you know
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
[Chorus:]
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
[Chorus]
This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here
[Chorus]
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
[Chorus:]
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
[Chorus]
This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here
[Chorus]
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Michael learns to rock - Complicated heart
Don't know what to say now
don't know where to start
I don't know how to handle
a complicated heart
You tell me you are leaving
but I just have to say
before you throw it all away
Chorus:
Even if you want to go alone
I will be waiting when you're coming home
And if you need someone to ease the pain
you can lean on me, my love will still remain
Don't know what you're thinking
to me it seems quite tough
to hold a conversation
when words are not enough
so this is your decision
and there's nothing I can do
I can only say to you
Chorus~
if this is your decision
and theres nothing i can do
i can only say to you
Chorus~
even if you want to go alone
i will still love you when tomorrow comes
Chorus:-
can't believe it.... why?!
Don't know what to say now
don't know where to start
I don't know how to handle
a complicated heart
You tell me you are leaving
but I just have to say
before you throw it all away
Chorus:
Even if you want to go alone
I will be waiting when you're coming home
And if you need someone to ease the pain
you can lean on me, my love will still remain
Don't know what you're thinking
to me it seems quite tough
to hold a conversation
when words are not enough
so this is your decision
and there's nothing I can do
I can only say to you
Chorus~
if this is your decision
and theres nothing i can do
i can only say to you
Chorus~
even if you want to go alone
i will still love you when tomorrow comes
Chorus:-
can't believe it.... why?!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Not a perfect person
Hoobastank - The Reason
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you [x4]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Few days work here alreadi... yeah.. I would say it, *MY JOB SUCKS LOL*
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you [x4]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Few days work here alreadi... yeah.. I would say it, *MY JOB SUCKS LOL*
Saturday, January 2, 2010
MLTR - 25 minutes
After some time I've finally made up my mind
she is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I'm searching everywhere to find her again
to tell her I love her
and I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done
I find her standing in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her weddingdress
but she's crying while she's saying this
Chorus: Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late
Against the wind I'm going home again
wishing me back to the time when we were more than friends
But still I see her in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looked so happy in her weddingdress
but she cryed while she was saying this
Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late
Out in the streets
places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
inside my head
still I can hear the words she said
Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late
I can still hear her say.......
After some time I've finally made up my mind
she is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I'm searching everywhere to find her again
to tell her I love her
and I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done
I find her standing in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her weddingdress
but she's crying while she's saying this
Chorus: Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late
Against the wind I'm going home again
wishing me back to the time when we were more than friends
But still I see her in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looked so happy in her weddingdress
but she cryed while she was saying this
Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late
Out in the streets
places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
inside my head
still I can hear the words she said
Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late
I can still hear her say.......
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